Hot Dogs, Armor Hot dogs, what kind of kids eat Armor Hot Dogs

Today I was a weiner. Not physically mind you.
I decided to re-enter to world of tanning via machinery. It reminds me of the little cookers we used when I was in fast food to prepare wieners. Lay wieners in, turn on, lid down, quick cook. Viola! Hot wieners ready to be consumed.
I decided to do this as I would really like to wear shorts this summer and not freak everyone out with my white sheath we shall call my skin. (Look out! Turn your head! Put on your shades! Here she comes!) Do not even attempt to lie, everyone looks better with a little color we all know that. My Irish definitely shows in my skin.
I started slow. 10 minutes. I purchased the required tanning bed safe accelerator lotion stuff, slathered up and I turn it in, in I go, lid down and I cook! Viola I am ready for human consumption. Oh wait, I am not a hot dog, I am not a hot dog. OK better. Alas, right now I am feeling a little burn this evening. And we are not talking about my workout after work. My butt is tingling right now, my tummy is pink and I would kill to be able to put some lotion on my back. Ok let me say put it on my back easily. I can contort myself as I am double jointed but your appendages just do not work as well when they are in un-natural positions. (There is another thought, I should blog about my double-jointed adventures in life.)
Ahhh the things we to look good.

Butt-burningly,

red right now on more than the head!