Friday, September 30, 2005

Friday's Funnies

Walking into his favorite bar, Mike said to the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one. I just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah?" said Fred. "And how did this one end ?" When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees."

"Really? Now that's a switch! What did she say ?" She said, "Come out from under that bed, you little chickenshit."

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Post Mothball

The Mothball was a blast! I have pictures to incriminate I mean post later. I am still re-couping. I know, I know it's Thursday, but the long drive Sunday, brick laying class on Tuesday, and after work errands that must be completed by Friday have kept mui from getting much needed rest.
And speaking of brick laying, on another post I must share my son's conversation with some friends about me taking that course.. too funny!

Can I say that a martini shaker, Gloria Estaban's "The Conga", and an olive made for an interesting "talent" for Bond girl Fiona Plum! Although she got beat out to a somewhat drunk frat boy who stripped down to a halter top and girls bikinis to the beat of Marvin Gayes "Let's Get It On". Bet he wondered what the hell the next morning! If Fiona Plum entered again, Fiona thinks lip syncing might be in order.

There were some great table decorations for the table decorating contest and competition was tough! I received the honor of being 1st runner up on my attempt at table decorations and won 5 bottles of wine! (Yes FIVE!!) There were some great tables and competition was tough!
How'd they know,
That I'm a wino?
I couldn't be happier!

Have a day!

Friday, September 23, 2005

How Much Are You Worth?

I am worth $1,186,352 on

Friday's Funnies

A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?"

The girl said, "No."

And the guy lived happily ever after and went golfing and fishing a lot.


Thursday, September 22, 2005

The Moth Ball

So it all started with my sister inviting the hub and I to go to The Moth Ball with her.

Never heard of it? Click here!
It's but on by this group for a really good fund raiser..

You see she was last years Moth Ball Queen and wanted us to share in the honor and glory of her passing the crown on to the new queen.
So it has always sounded like fun so we thought what the heck! Part of the fun is dressing in the ball theme. This year is James Bond. So the hub, who already has a great shiny head, which I think is rather sexy, is going as Earnst Blofeld.

I don't want to get everyone all stirred up by going half naked like a Bond Girl, So I chose a long, slimming Black Dress with Opera gloves, and a long satin neck scarf sot of a 60's classic.
What's that? They are having a table decorating contest?

Count me in!

I am basing my design on this pic..

I rounded up some high dollar quality materials (old lamp, candle, cardboard, black spray paint and the ever popular hot glue gun)
To get to this:

OK so I am no set designer and the back ground doesn't help any! LOL And my Bond Girls Boobs are bigger..go figure..
And let me not forget the highest priced item of all.........................
The Dog Trainer Collar. you know the one, that conical one that a dog wears when it wants to bite or lick itself to much..AND it came in clear plastic! WAH LAA the bowl of the martini glass!
I have painted a Barbie gold, got tarot cards, gaming cards, dice, pics of all 5 bonds, the golden gun, a mini BMW, glitter and gold to scatter around the base of my centerpiece.

I can't wait to see the hubs face when he opens up his tarp to paint again!

OHH!!! (see me deny deny deny!) And yes that is the golden barbie at the bottom.
Did I say the Moth Ball is Saturday? Did I say that tonight my sister and her friend talked me into entering the Math Ball Queen Contest

More on that to come!

Keeping ya posted!

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Tuesday's Tantrum

Cell Phones

Gotta love 'em, gotta hate 'em!

For some of us, the cell phone is our link to friends and family. A modern person's replacement to the corded set most of us grew up with. The security of having it with you almost all the time for all those Justin Cases. The voice message system is the 2K's upgrade to the 1980 and 90's answering machines.
Used exactly what it is there for. To answer if you can't.

To others, the cell phone is an all empowering electronic marvel upon which they live for it's every ring. And answer it's every ring.
On the bus,
in the park,
at the mall,
at dinner,

Just what is all that about? You DO have voice mail you know.
It never fails that I get in front of the person who is emotionally connected to their phone while on my way to work. They also are apparently afraid of using the headset. (I guess they miss those cancer causing vibes against their ear.)
Therefore, they...

imagine this now....


They go slow, they turn with no warning, they speed up, they slow down, wander into other lanes then jerk back, they glance at you in their rear view mirror, hoping you didn't notice.

We can be sitting in a nice restaurant, someone's cell goes off and you'd think they where spastic by the way they react. Searching for the phone in their pocket or purse, hoping to find it before that dreaded 4th ring.
getting that stressed look on their face. Then relief.
Ah ha, there it is.
WHEW! That was close.
You have to listen to their conversation while you eat. I don't want to listen to your one sided conversation go on and on while I am trying to enjoy my dinner. Especially if you are at my table.
My Momma taught me that doing that was R.U.D.E.
Whatever happened to asking the person on the other end of your call if it is important.
A) If your caller says yes, step away from your fellow diners and talk to them.
B) If it isn't, simply state, "I am eating right now with my family, lover, friends, co-workers a bunch of assholes (pick one or insert one of your choice), Can I call you back when I am done?"

That was news breaking!

In breaks the evening news anchor:

"Diner finishes meal with family. Asks caller to call back later. News at 11"

Fade to black

And man, If I am talking to you the last thing I want to hear is that you are in the bathroom.
That's just gross.

Cell phones can be just a wee bit to convenient.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Friday's Funnies

Breakfast on the Farm

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since his family lives on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says: "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

500th Post!

WOO HOO! This is post number 500 for me!

On a more serious note, I got on to put this web site out here and ask for prayers for a very good friend of mines daughter.

When you go to that web site check out her "My Story" and leave her a note in "the guestbook".

A quick run down of what happened...

She started having trouble breathing and went to several doctors to find out what the problem was to no avail.Finally she got a Doc that had a clue. Turns out 80% of her trachea was blocked to to esophagus scarring. How weird, right!?!
So they tried other remedies that did not work, so now she has had surgery. They removed the part of her trachea that was scarred and sewed it back together. They where then going to sew her chin to her chest to protect the stitches. The last thing she wanted was to be on a ventilator. The doctor said it would only happen worse case.
Gues what..
Worse case...
And now they are keeping her semi-comatose.


Send her a prayer and a note letting her know the world is thinking of her if you would.

Her Mom could use a prayer or two herself in this trying time..She is a sweetheart.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005


I have been wanting to make Tuesday my tantrum day, but as the hub and I signed up for brick laying classes, that has been a bit hard!

Classes are every Tuesday up to the week of Thanksgiving..


we learn to slap mortar onto a brick and it stay....

Or should I say it SHOULD stay....

We have several projects in mind with what we learn from this class, but me thinks after this weekend, we aren't planning any for a week or 2!

Monday, September 12, 2005

SO, how was your weekend?

Mine envolved drills, drill wounds ( I drilled his finger), ambulances, a trip to the hospital. (The hub had shortness of breath, was light-headed and tightness in the chest. Turns out to be a reaction to me drilling his finger.)

The Doc told me I could come into the room as long as I wasn't armed with a drill.
The hub laughed.
I said "Not Funny!"
We where trying to fix the ceiling vent you can see at the back of the picture. We were not done when I drilled him.
After getting done at the hospital, the hub wanted to get back up there and finish, much to my disagreement.

So the hub got BACK in the attic and we did manage to finish. On his way back out of the attic, he stepped through the ceiling.
I screamed.
Just knew we where making a 2nd call to 911.
I should have got a picture of the mess. Now I have a redneck ceiling! Another use for duck tape.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Friday, September 09, 2005

Gulfport distruction

The company I work for is in the Hurricane area doing repairs.
Check these pics out in the Gulfport area.

Friday's Funnies

Top 10 Dog Peeves About Humans

10. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all!!!

9. Yelling at me for barking . I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

8. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

7. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it!

6. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

5. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

4. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

3. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

2. Dog sweaters. Hello??? Haven't you noticed the fur?

1. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the

truth, you're just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here!!!
You don't see me picking up your poop do you???

Thursday, September 08, 2005

And I entertain also!

Let me set the scene for you..

The hub and I are enjoying our first night alone at the Inn in Nova Scotia.
The Inn is on a bay....
Quaint atmosphere....
Known for their Gourmet food....
Dinner by Candlelight...

And I am making the Hub laugh by....

(please ignore the picture quality.. it was VERY dark in the inn.)

Yes that is me with a spoon on my nose...

It balanced quite well!
The waitress never saw me but the man a table over kept giving me that sideways glance.


Think I was entertaining him also?

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

We're Back!


We are back all safe and sound. Which unfortunately I can't say for the some of the people in the gulf states. What a tragic thing to happen! That is about all the Canadians watched on TV every where we went, and we kept getting asked why it was taking so long to get aid there. What do you say?!?!?!

(Personal opinion I think the FEMA dude should find new employment that does not require any form of human interaction). Check this out also..
Not that I think he is the only one either...he just pissed me off the most on TV, although a few others where close behind. Some of the others include reporters...

The Hub and I took lots of pics and I hope to post some soon. Here is one that I plan on using as a wall paper. It is of White's Cove at the northern tip of Nova Scotia.

Thanks Sissy for hosting while I was gone! Love Ya Man!

More soon!


Saturday, September 03, 2005

Red and the Captain are almost home!

Red and the Captain are due back from their excursion to Nova Scotia tonight! YAY! I can't wait to hear their stories and see the pictures!

I would expect that once she gets home, gets some rest, unpacks, gets caught up at work, finds a cure for Cancer, reinvents the wheel, and cooks a nice meal, she'll blog about it here!


I love you Sissy and B-I-L! I hope y'all had a good trip and had a safe trip home!


Friday, September 02, 2005

If you haven't already done so...

...please considering donating to The American Red Cross or the relief organization of your choice to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

I got word from New Orleans

I have a friend who lives and works in the New Orleans area that I have been worried about since it looked like Katrina was headed straight for New Orleans.

I wrote my friend an email Sunday night and simply let her know I was praying that she was OK and asking that she get in touch when she can. She wrote me an email that I received this morning:

doing ok - busy but often I is sad for many down here on a good day...these are very very bad days and that is breaking my heart
house has tree in bedroom
very busy helping to organize recovery efforts
thanks for your note and prayers
we all need them down here
I'm safe but what's happening here is worse than the news is telling you

I am absolutely horrified by what is going on in New Orleans and all of the other affected areas. I sit and watch the coverage on the news and cry because it is so unfathomable that this is going on anywhere, much less in America - the richest country in the world.

Yet my friend, who is basically at "Ground Zero," says it's much worse than what I'm seeing on TV??? All I can do shake my head and wipe away my tears.

I am praying hard and sending healing thoughts to all that are affected. I hope you'll join me.

Thursday, September 01, 2005