Friday, March 19, 2004

A Day at my Job

I work in the lively world of accounting. Yes I am a numbers pusher. I push them from one side of my desk, then back. And yes I make the little motor noises too!
I was having a really good day today until the multi number crash. The number ten, (and we all know how number ten is, rounding things up by tenths), ran into the back of number seven while trying to get on the stapler expressway. Number seven went to spinning like a lucky pull at a slot machine in Vegas, and spun right into number 44. They ended up in front of the Tape Dispenser truck stop. After that I lost count of the damages as the numbers kept adding and adding into the carnage. It reminded me of the day my adder paper hung in the calculator, it was absolute mayhem.
Then I had to call an ambulance and things went downhill from there. The ambulance had a hard time getting to the site for all the numbers over 70 driving slow in the fast lane. (Freakin old numbers, they need to stay home!) Then the ambulance could not get close for all the numerical bystanders and gawkers. Why would you want to look at the multiple numeric gore? I just dont get it. They need to subtract themselves, and get out of the way.
Divide and conquer! I heard the ambulance driver yell while trying to part the crowd. . As the emergency workers walked up to the scene all I could hear was a banged up number one yelling Me first, me first! I would like to kick him in his fraction.
Needless to say things have not gone well the rest of the day. I have not gotten one percent of my work done.

Listening to Beyonce - Me, Myself and I

No comments: