Friday, May 28, 2004

So I hardly ever come out of my office

I am way to busy, as usual! But today I was taking some paperwork to a girl at the other side of the cubie pit and I see everyone standing there looking out the windows. I was thinking if we where on a ship it would have sunk by now! I could hear the panic stricken calls of the captain, "Not everyone at once! People step away from the left side of the ship!"
I went over to one of the girls and said "Girl, what is going on?" And Uh huh, I said it like that.... Turns out the local law enforcement had been cruising the lot next to the woods looking around. Some of the girls had seen him out there. When he drove off, a man came out of the woods, looking around like he had done something (ya think?). He saw all the girls looking at him and ran back into the woods. So one of the girls called 911. She is trying to make the dispatcher believe that they saw what they saw and he was still in the woods. Of course anyone who say anything is getting all excited and talking out loud at the same time.
"He had on jeans shorts"
"No, they where blue!"
"No, they were black and he had on a white collared shirt!"
"It was a t-shirt"
(Ever played gossip? LOL)
Needless to say dispatcher lady can't understand a word the one girl is saying. So the dispatcher calls the cops back, all the while more of us congregate at the window.
"Glass isn't bullet proof!" one girl said.
Another spouts out with a "I wonder what he did?"
In my head I am thinking, he is looking at us right now memorizing our faces thinking "These bitches are going down!"...
A car pulls up and is going slow. It is not a cop car.
"It's his ride!" hollers one girl, "He is here to pick him up!'
Bout that time a cop car pulls up and the first car looks like he is trying to pull away from him. A collective "OH!" is let out from the window crowd. But no, it is only an undercover cop. The talk a minute and then get out to search the woods.
We all contemplate what we would do if he came out of the woods and tried to run from the cops.
"We could run out the door screaming" I hear, "That'll surely get the cops back over here!"
"We should group tackle him!" says another.
I am thinking of what this criminal would think if about 30 of us women went running outside after him. Hummm. That could go 2 ways!
We conspire about what he did and why the cops where after him.
"He robbed the Econo-Mart and tried to take a woman hostage at the car wash!"
(Can you tell I live in a small town?)
"Well I think he was barefoot!"
"He was dragging the car wash woman by the hair!"
(Remember Granddads ride to school when he was little? It went from riding, to walking, to walking with no shoes, to snow, to deep snow, etc.....)

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Wanna be a spy? You to can sign up on the internet!

I purchased my first part of my Motorcycle safety gear today. A DOT approved helmet. The Kawasaki place here is going out of business and I got it for a steal!
Yo Yo Yo Dog!

Well tonight is it. The final AI3 show. I watched last night and have to say for the first time I agreed with Simon on one song. Fantasia did not sing her first song well. She was "trying to make it her own" but it didn't work. I was also a bit disappointed with her "Summertime" song, again she was trying to enhance the song more that when she sang it the first time. The first time she sang it, it was "da bomb" but last night I think she was pushing it a little to much. The judges liked it though so what do I know... But now the "Believe" song she was right on! EXCELLENT! I have one issue with Fantasia though. At the first of the final 12 competition, I was like "she is gonna win this". But as the show went on, she showed that she has a 'tude. Tudes turn me off, so now I have issue with her. Plus I am a little disconcerted how they can have issues with Frenchy "modeling" on the internet, saying that doesn't make a good American Idol, well what is the difference with Fantasia and her being an unwed mother? Is that what an American Idol is? Don't get me wrong. I not a judging person, I just think the SAME RULES SHOULD APPLY FOR EVERYONE!

Diana did the "Believe" song what I would call a "pretty good OK", she pushed a little to hard on her second and third song. But I will give it to her she has a strong voice.

So, I didn't vote, but if I did I would have to say I more than likely would have voted for Diana even though I really should support felloe North Carolinian, Fantasia. Her showing her 'tude shows me if and when she makes the big time, she will not appreciate it. My opinion and my opinion only....

Tuesday, May 25, 2004


I went to the NCDMV today to take my written portion of the motorcycle test. IF I didn't say it before, when you take the Motorcycle Safety class you do not have to drive in front of the cop..(whew!). The class was fresh in my mind, I had downloaded the DMV training manual, just to read thru, I was a bit apprehensive, but I was prepared. Or so I thought..
I got there plenty early. One of the first in line. When they opened I was sent straight to a DMV chicks desk. Kind of an amazon blonde woman with blue eyes. Eyes that had issues. One of them didn't move. It is such a weird feeling to see her type on the computer, all the while looking at me with one eye and the screen with the other. She was rather nice though.
So She got me all checked in and set up for the test. I sat down to the computer to take the test and missed the first question right off the bat. Thing is, I knew better. NERVES! DAMN THEM!! I thought, "Great! This is a sign." I took a deep breathe and proceeded on. No in class, one guy said when he took the test, he skipped some questions and he didn't get the same question back in the end, he got a new question. Well all in all, I skipped 3. Guess what! I got those 3 back in the end. Hummm, that is a man for ya... But I got the questions right the 2nd time around. I ended up missing 3 which means I passed! YEAH!
I am called over to yet another DMV dude to pay my fees. This dude has never missed a meal or a donut, and he was rather curt. I was thinking he sure needed to find a personality.
Now I get a new picture, so I am pointed to the Picture Dude by Bland Donut Man. YEAH!!! Or so I thought. My hair is very curly, and today I thought it was looking pretty good, kind of natural with a little (very little) work to the top. The picture dude said "Oh, your gonna like this one!" I thought YEA! The other picture I look toothless because of where they put my name. The trail of the last letter of my last name went RIGHT thru my mouth. "Go in the waiting room, it will be about 3 minutes." Picture Dude said. So off I go to wait.
In a few I hear my name called out, I walk around to Picture Dude and he hands me my license. Turns out he is really Sarcastic Picture Dude. That or totally blind. Uh huh, I look like I just came off a three day drunk, and haven't washed my hair in a week. go figure. What is it about DMV pictures? Are they trained to take bad pics? Do they buy discounted screwed up cameras? Is it an internal contest of all DMV offices to see who can take the worst pic of someone? Hummmm
To end my Tuesday blog, I am now legal to drive a bike. WOO HOO!

Monday, May 24, 2004


Yes, as my unkymood shows, I feel accomplished! I have to admit, I just went thru the most grueling last 2 days I have been thru in a LONG time, taking the motorcycle training course.
I was yelled at (along with everyone else), hot and sweaty & sick to my stomach with nerves. I will admit I was never closer to giving something up than I was the first hour of the first morning. My wrists are killing me from clutching and braking. BUT I had a blast and made some new friends too! AND I PASSED! 100 on the written and 92 on the driving! Yeah for me! This is part one of a goal I had set for myself a long while back. part 2 is to own one. That is still a ways down the road yet, but donations never turned down (LOL)...
Here is what I sucked at...
1) The Box. In a small box you are supposed to do a figure 8 with out crossing the lines, using your weight, the rear brake and the throttle. the box is about 30 foot long and 18 foot wide.
2) taking a 120 turn within 2.9 seconds. I did it in 3.4, oh well.
I aced the 2nd gear immediate stop, and the swerving exercise. So as long as I don't do any figure 8's in a box, or make a fast turn, I will be alright! LOL I am sure the turn will come with practice. And I intend on practicing a lot before I take a major road trip.
Tomorrow I go to the NCDMV and take their written test. If I pass that, I get it added to my license! WOO HOO!

Friday, May 21, 2004

This is worth a Friday sure to check out all the services they offer and the contact us page!
T.G. freakin I.F!
For Friday Fun

This site is too good! I am creating my ex-bosses' face now and I have darts!!!

Reds' Friday Five

1) Now that it is the weekend what are your plans?
2) What do you to wind down at the end of the day?
3) Relaxation for you is?
4) Your ideal weekend consists of what?
5) You look forward to the weekend why?

Reds Answers
1) Now that it is the weekend what are your plans?
I am going to take a motorcycle training course of course!

2) What do you to wind down at the end of the day?
<Well if I told you I would have to kill you...

3) Relaxation for you is?
A cabana boy.. oh wait, I mean a glass of wine, a good meal and good company. Did I mention my glass was 64 ounces?

4) Your ideal weekend consists of what?
Sex, eating, sex, drinking, sex, sleeping, sex. Oh, and did I meantion sex? LOL!!

5) You look forward to the weekend why?
Well Duh! read the previous answer silly!

Thursday, May 20, 2004

OK,Maybe I am putting the cart before the horse, actually I am putting the cart before the horse, but I am really excited about this weekend and taking the motorcycle course.
SOOOO, I have been online window shopping.
I went to Harley and I like this one.
I went to Yamaha and I like this, and this.
I went to Honda and I like this.
I went to Kawasaki and I like the Vulcan 800 classic. Due to their "ultra flash" site I can't link that pic but you can select it of you care to look..
Now understand I am a year and a half to 2 years out to getting one of my own, but window shopping can be fun!!
Besides, if gas gets to be much more, I might need to get one sooner!

You are Irish
You are a Dubliner.

What's your Inner European?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

I am a freakin etch a sketch...

You're an Etch-a-Sketch!! You're the creative,
artsy type who doesn't need to actually utilize
a single muscle group in order to have fun.
Doesn't matter though, you're still cool.

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
First a few quick updates to yesterday's story...
Update #1 - I wanted to add to yesterday's story that the minute we got home, I had to put a bra on so I could go to the store.. LOL go figure..
Update #2 - I got in the class to learn to ride a motorcycle along with motorcycle safety this weekend!! Gonna get my license! Part one of a 2 part life goal, part 2 is to own my own bike.

Biker Bitch

I am someone's biker bitch. I'm not sure how I feel about that term, but from my purchases it appears I like it!
I guess "freedom" got to me. I went hog wild (that is kinda funny, isn't it? LOL. Hog - bike rally..)
OK as I had stated, I have never been to a bike rally before, so I had to have the t-shirt. Well not really a t-shirt but a camisole version. First stop we made I saw one that I REALLY liked but it wasn't really a "rally" shirt. But it was real cute! It was a black, wifebeater style shirt with a silver studded eagle on the front, and studded around the neckline. I was like, no, I will find one that says Myrtle Beach somewhere. But R bought it for me anyway. He snuck it up to the check out and after he paid he said "At these things if you like it you buy it or it may not be there later". Such a sweetie..
Anyway on we go. There where lots of vendors to check out their wares, everything from special paint jobs to massager chairs. Guess the later was for all us "old folks" after a days ride. So long story short, I ended up with a black camisole trimmed in lace, and a white one with chain straps. Yes I said chain! Also I ended up with a leather riding vest. It comes complete with lace up sides, fringe, and purple suede roses inset in the yolks on the front and back. The lady who helped me said "We have the matching chaps!" I looked at her as I sweated and thought, uh, NO... but you know, in cooler weather they might just be the ticket. Humm, maybe I DO want the chaps! Besides, you are supposed to wear your leather gear everytime you ride for protection. uh huh..

I am becoming such a good and stylish biker bitch! (If there is such a thing!)

Monday, May 17, 2004

Set Those Puppies Free!

I went to my first Bike week this past weekend. Yep I did. And in getting prepared I had to go shopping for shirts. No, I didn't use it as an excuse for shopping, rather I HATE hot weather, I am SUPER fair of skin and I do not have a lot of cute summer wear. BUT, as this year I have a tan, I thought "What the hay!", I bought a halter-top and it is pink! (Hereinafter referred to as my skank shirt and I use skank lovingly.) I have always been told if you have red hair, don't wear pink unless you wanna be on the back cover of Vogue wearing a black strip across your eyes walking on a big DON'T. Which of course would thrill me. But that is a whole different story.
Anyway, I have one of Victoria Secret convertible bras. It can be a regular bra, a strapless, a racer back, or a halter bra, so I am thinking, OK, this is cool, I can be a respectable skank. So the night of purchase, I am trying the skank shirt on. I take my VS bra, convert the straps and I am sorry to say my VS convertible bra as a halter bra around my neck has got to be close to how it feels to be a pulley on a motor hoist. Don't get me wrong, I am not huge, but I am not small either.
So, OMG I have a dilemma! I haven't worn a skank shirt well...EVER and I haven't gone braless...well...EVER!! My step mom used to drill in my head, wear your bra or you'll be saggy when your older. Not gonna tell you the visions in my young head back then. Funny thing though, back in high school the boys used to call me "band-aid" as a (cruel) joke. I was pretty much a pirates dream, an A cup if that constitutes a cup size at all LOL. HA! If they could see me now! Again another story.
Back to the skank shirt..
So I decided to "set those puppies free". Like the song says, "Oh what a feeling!" My frontal appendages where yelling out, "Free at last! Free at last!" I felt naked and dressed at the same time. Ha Ha! Even more did I feel like a skank. And are you ready for this? I went braless all weekend, shhhhhhh don"t tell!!!
OF course I had to have the T-Shirt from the rally but that is another story for later this week...
So know I have to go and sign up for motorcycle classes.
No, I am not kidding. That is one of my life goals. To learn to ride one, and to own one.

Friday, May 14, 2004

More thoughts from my head via a poem. sort of...


I find it hard to describe
the way I feel.
When I'm with you,
nothing else matters.
As you pull me close,
and hold me,
my mind turns blank
to the outside world.
I act from my heart.
I can tell things by your eyes
and your heart is open.
Words speed by in my head
when I try to say how I feel..
I find easier at times,
to put my words down on paper.
I always want to show you
how much I care.
Right now,
the best way to say how you make me feel
is to say,
I love you.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Name Generator

Haven't you always wanted to know this!!!

Your Nerd Name - mine is Gracetha - Python Wizard
Your Office Ho name - I am The Drunk Meister
Your Gansta name - mine is Mercedes Rollin' Monkey Smuggler
Your Porn Star name - Mine is Tempest Sinn
Your Fairy name - Mine is Columbine Goblinwitch
Your Smurf Name - Mine is Fidel Smurf
Your Jedi Name - Mine is FOXMA ROFOR of the planet Vicoden
Your Vampire Name - Mine is Chastity Fey aka Succubus of Beijing
And Finally Your Hip Hop Name - Mine is Queen Baby Mack Cubis

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Been ultra busy this week. Have out of town company at work..
I saw this and thought it was too cool. I am going to add it to my list of places I spy on!

Astronomy Picture of the Day

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

OK, in copying my sister and Sam, I pose the following:

Ask me three (or more) questions (by e-mail or the comment box). Ask me anything you want and I will truthfully answer. Then, go to your blog and copy and paste this, allowing your friends to ask you three (or more) questions.

This could be interesting! LOL

From my seaster:

1) If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?
I was once married to the devil and yes, he has a name. It is "the bastard". You've met him. 13 years of hell. But we do go thru these things to learn don't we? Maybe I wouldn't appreciate what I have now. Seems like a lot of shit to go thru to get here though!

2. If you were independently wealthy, but still chose to work, what would you do?
I would be a plant nursery owning, free lance photographer, who supported a no kill shelter.

3. What celebrity do you lust after?
OH my, you want to know my darkest secrets If you don't you?
OK I confess... the celebrity I lust after is Pluto, with Mel Gibson running a close 2nd. Well I don't know, i sure like Nicolas Cage...hummm

Thursday, May 06, 2004

The Cicadas Are Coming, The Cicadas Are Coming!

Seems every 17 years these little flying noisy bugs show up. And I am lucky enough to be here in NC in their year!! Feel the excitement! Actually I am thinking Photo Op as this is a rarity..
Anyway. They emerge sometime in May out of your lawn, from little dirt piles that look like you should be talking you dog to the vet. THEY FLY.. OMG. They fly around thru most of June. (Bet all the NC June brides are excited...what's that on the cake?
It makes the news here. There are Cicada watches. There are FAQs about Cicadas..
go to my link, check it out, someone has actually asked if it would hurt their kids to eat them. I should be suprised but I am not. I just find that totally GROSS.
I can see my now if one comes towards me. I have always said that any bug, snake, slimy slithery thing will kill me poisonous or not, because I would kill myself running from it.. I am not a wuss, bugs just aren't my thing.
Let's see, they come out in May, hang around till June.. I know where my *** will be and it sure not outside!!!

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary
I got this from a friend and had to pass it on!

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing the boss' ass rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMS: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The Anna Nichole show or the Bachelor is a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" (meaning that the requested document, like the person's brain, could not be located).

GENERICA: Features of the North American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust(leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING).

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Add Ons

WOW, I got my pull downs done and my search box...I am amazed at myself!
I also added in a fade in feature. When you first key up my site, it should fade in...
And I did it all on my lunch today!!
Tell me what you think!!
My only thing now is I signed up for Blogrolling and I don't think that will work with my pull down verbage...hummm
I really like the concept of blogrolling.....

Our work computers are getting the sasser worm. It is amazing all the things hackers can do. Doesn't even take a download for this one... Amazing!! I downloaded the stinger and isolated it on me, but I can get it again...WTF?
Oh Well... Will check out my computer tonight...

Lifeline Calculator

Who really wants to know how long you are gonna live but if you are daring try this..

Monday, May 03, 2004

I Snore, Therefore I Am...

OK, I will admit it, I snore. Not all the time but on occasion and especially during allergy season. Why is it we are so embarassed over some bodily functions that we can not help? Mind you I said "we can not help". My first husband thought farting was funny and one of his friends could belch sentences. Uh-huh, yeah. His name was LeRoy. Go Figure. The friend's name, not my 1st husband..His name was Harold... go figure again.... Bet you have a pretty picture of me now huh. Let's just say I was young and dumb then. Needless to say he really impressed my mother. Actually he made her "good side" when she slaved to make homemade French Dip sandwiches with au jour, and he let off with a "I don't like a G.D. sandwich." Yes I am being sarcastic, because she was not pleased. I also think now I musta needed to have been hit with a load of bricks to see the light back then. But I get off tract here.
Last night, I was pretty tired, but I HAD to watch "10.5" even though I would be us past my usual bedtime. Don't laugh. I like to get up at 5 AM. Anyway, now there is ya some bad acting! Kim Deleney must have lost her acting skills when she went off to "dry out". But I have to add that she wasn't the only one that sucked like a hoover.....
And that train that got consumed by the fault line??? Come on, what are the odds that they would build miles of train track, all on a fault line. uh huh. And I saw that overhead shot. That was a model train if I ever saw one. I should know. I have 3.
And the governers assistant, who husband kept calling her to talk about them having a baby, all the while these massive quakes are happening? Come on, I am sure there are thousands of things to talk about during a quake, and having a baby ain't one of them. And like the phone would work!!!
I could keep on with the OH!s but I regress again.... (and yes I will finish it tonight. The earth quake footage is pretty cool!)
I had just got to sleep when I let off with one of those breathing in snores. Like when your mouth is relaxed and our upper palette has relaxed. I let off with a rousing hhhrumppht.....My body jumped and my eyes came open wider than making a politically incorrect statement in front of a bunch of harrasement lawyers.
First thing I think was "Was that me?" Then a quick "Who did I wake up?" Then the embarasment sets in... "OMG, I can't believe I just did that...blush....
But it sure doesn't take me long to go back to sleep... via a turn of the head and holding my mouth shut with the prop of my hand.....
I didn't say I had a point with this story either..