Thursday, December 21, 2006

Friday, December 08, 2006

Best Light Show EVER!!

this is from last year but I still would LOVE to be able to do this to our house!

Friday, December 01, 2006

Friday's Funnies

A man from Texas, driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls, "Hey, you got a telephone in that Rolls?"

The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do." "I got one too... see?" the Texan says. "Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice." "You got a fax machine?" asks the Texan. "Why, actually, yes, I do." "I do too! See? It's right here!" brags the Texan.

The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen says, "So, do you have a double bed in back there?" The guy in the Rolls replies, "NO! Do you?" "Yep, got my double bed right in back here," the Texan replies. The light turns and the man in the Volkswagen takes off.

Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he immediately goes to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his car. About two weeks later, the job is finally done. He picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen beetle with the Texas plates. Finally, he finds it parked alongside the road, so he pulls his Rolls up next to it. The windows on the Volkswagen are all fogged up and he feels somewhat awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagen.

The man in the Volkswagen finally opens the window a crack and peeks out. The guy with the Rolls says, "Hey, remember me?" "Yeah, yeah, I remember you," replies the Texan, "What's up?" "Check this out... I got a double bed installed in my Rolls."


Saturday, November 25, 2006

Friday, November 24, 2006

OK...24 Hours of Thanksgiving is Over!

Marti and I had a great idea that we would blog about the various goings on here at the house on Thanksgiving Day. However it required that one or both of us be at the computer for a length of time, and aside from the time we spent looking up stuff on You Tube and trying to find "The Cubicle Song" and "I'm Gonna Whip Somebody's Ass" song, we were enjoying the lovely-ness of our family.

Alicia, youngest member of the clan at age 4, was sitting at the head of the Thanksgiving Table with Marti on one side of her and I was on the other. I had gotten up to get seconds and was sitting down when Alicia looks at Marti and says, "She's your sister?" Marti replies, "Yes..." Alicia looks from Marti to me again and says, "She got woman boobs - why don't you?"

Later on, Marti's hub's son was showing off his MP3 Player and explained that when he was having a bad day, it always perked him up to listen to a song called "My Enormous Penis." Suddenly, he looks at me and says, "Hey Joan! With your Woman Boobs and my Enormous Penis, we could make a lot of money!"

Ahh...the joys of home and hearth...

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

24 Hours of Thanksgiving...


Hi! It's Joan! Marti's sister! We are together at Marti's house and Marti said, "We should do 24 hours of Thanksgiving on the blog!" and I started tippity tapping away and here I am!

I'm not real sure what this means, but I'm sure it will be fun!

Marti said, "DAMN! The Turkey is still frozen." and I replied, "We didn't die last year did we?"

....STAY TUNED for more details of the exciting adventures of MARTI & JOAN!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


Pleasant conversation is always better with a little eye candy..

Friday, September 29, 2006

Friday's Funnies

A short story

Man driving down road.

Woman driving up same road.

They pass each other.

The woman yells out the window, PIG!

Man yells out window, B I T C H!

Man rounds next curve.

Crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road, and dies.

Thought for The Day: If only men would listen....

Saturday, September 23, 2006

I LOVE this chick!

Check her out...

Wish I could have thought of these!


Friday, September 22, 2006

Friday's Funnies

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes and he'll supply all of your clothes.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. Let's see what else, Oh, you'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage and the starting salary is $200,000 a year.

The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it."

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Nova Scotia 2005

Originally uploaded by marticagle.

these are older pics but I just got them uploaded and it was such a beautiful place!


This is a test post from flickr, a fancy photo sharing thing.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006


George W. Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over a bridge railing, and landed in the creek below

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful, he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kids said, " I want to go to Disneyland" George W. said "No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One"

The second kid said, " I want a pair of Nike Air Jordan's." George W. said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!"

The third kid says, " I want a motorized wheelchair with a build in TV and stereo headset!"

George W. was a little perplexed by this and said, " But you don't look like you are handicapped?"

The kid replied, " I will be, after my Dad finds out I saved your ass".

Friday, September 08, 2006

Genie in a Bottle

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us." So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

A warm voice said, "Come on in."

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"

"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.

"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!" "And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.

"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.

"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?" She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?" "You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband.
"I'd do the same for you!"

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.

After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"

"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

"Really? Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"

Thursday, September 07, 2006

It's Back To School Time!


A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you Know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt???"

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math

Friday, June 02, 2006

Friday's Funnies

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in North Carolina recently with two ice
chests of fish. He was leaving a cove well known for its fishing. The game
warden asked The man,

"Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

"Naw, sir, I ain't got none of them there licenses, no. You must understand
these here are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?" said the game warden.

"Ya. Every night I take these here fish down to da lake and let them swim
'round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump rat back into this here
ice chest and I take them home."

"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" says the warden.

The redneck looked at the game warden for a moment and then said,
"It's the truth Mr. Government man, I'll show you. It really works."

"Okay," said the game warden, " I've GOT to see this!"

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

After several minutes the game warden turned to him and said,


"Well, what?" said the redneck.

The warden said, "When are you going to call them back?"

The redneck said, "Call who back?"

"The FISH!" replied the warden.

"What fish?" answered the redneck.

We in North Carolina may not be as smart as some city slickers but we aren't as
dumb as most government employees.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Lovin' me some Shirley Q Liquor!

My son introduced me to SQL a few years back... LOVE IT!!

Check This Out

Wholly Guacamole Batman!

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Friday, April 14, 2006


Personality Test


Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.
You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.
Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.
Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

Friday, March 31, 2006

Friday's Funnies


This will make all you technologically challenged people feel GOOD.

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice
for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone.

He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.
Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.

The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her
astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he said, "how
do you like your new phone?"

Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a
bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though...!"

"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.

"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"

Friday, March 03, 2006

Friday's Funnies

Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American engineer are working together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total," says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." Pooooof! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Osama bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidel s, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state."
Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.

The American engineer says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's 5000 feet high,500 feet thick and completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out -- it's virtually impenetrable."
The American engineer says, "Fill it with water."

Pooooof! End of story

Monday, February 27, 2006

Cukes and Onions

The hub and I both like to cook and at first this diet was really trying us. Being the "country folk" we are, everything was fried, or sauteed in real butter, or smothered in... well you get the picture..
So now we experiment with herbs (no salt or minimal salt), I can't believe it's not butter.... spray.. And yes I can believe it is not butter..
Anyway, we decided to try cucumbers and onions in vinegar and splenda. (Now that's some expensive shit! Splenda that is) First we try to decide how much of it to use in lue of regular sugar... The package said "This box equivalent to 2 lbs of sugar" but also says measure the same as sugar. I am thinking not just no but HELL NO! not at that price!
so we settle on 1/2 cup to 1 cup of vinegar.. I measure the splenda out, careful to not loose a lite puff of it and dump it in the mixing bowl. The hub measures the vinegar and pours it in and states, "WHOA! We have a reaction here." The splenda and vinegar made quite the foam! We pour it over the cucumbers and onions and let it marinade overnight. Tonight we sampled it. It was pretty good but I couldn't help envisioning the foaming concoction we made the night before and wondering if in a minute or two I would grab my throat and start gasping for air.
Ah the joys of chemistry and cooking!
I locked the splenda back in the safe too..

Friday, February 24, 2006

Friday's Funnies

The Old Preacher

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and the attorney were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment. They were also puzzled because the preacher had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.

Finally, the lawyer asked, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?"

The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go, too."

Thursday, February 23, 2006

One F, I ate that cookie!

You know you are loved when a special someone leaves you a comment, worrying because you haven't posted and gives you the encouraging speach to "Eat!!" LOL

Oh and Jef, I didn't eat a cookie, even though they are sure looking good!!

The diet is going well. The hub and I complete our 7th week this Saturday. We weigh in every Saturday and for the first 6 weeks he has lost 25 lbs and I have lost 14.5 lbs. At the 4 week mark they measure us and the hub lost 23 inches and I lost 23 inches!! WOO HOO!!
She asked if we could tell it in our clothes yet and unfortunately we both said no. We REALLY should have bought bigger sizes but refused to do so!
Believe me.. it wasn't a pretty sight!
BUT, now I can't wait to lose another 10 lbs because then it WILL show in my clothes!

Saturday, January 14, 2006

One Week mark..

So today we got up early to go to the "Place of Weight Loss" and have our first official weight in..
I had weighed at home but our scales are off..
I lost 5 lbs and the hub lost...

are you sitting down????

ELEVEN pounds!! Go R!

Now we go on the "official diet" as what we were doing before was kinda preping our bodies...

We have the rest of today as lean meats and veggies so we made a reservation at
B Christophers tonight, Steak and salad here we come!!

Friday, January 13, 2006

Friday's Funnies

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor,
overcome by curiosity, approached her.

"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.

"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church."

The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"

The old lady said, "$10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?"

"He is a veterinarian," she answered.

"That is an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"

The old lady said proudly, "In Nevada. He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno."

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Mid Week


We have had 4 days of only being able to eat this or that, intertwined with HNS shakes and or coffees..
The hub not me... the coffee SUCKS..
Now we have 3 days of lean meats and green veggies.. (All we can eat I might add!!!)
Not sure how this going to help me lose weight...

Sunday, January 08, 2006

and a freakin quarter...

The hub and I have been wanting for some time to lose weight. No, this isn't about a New Years resolution, I didn't make one.
(figured I never kept any of the others why waste the effort!)
Anyway, the hub's son M started a diet last May and has virtually lost a whole person..
Due to his modesty and not wanting to jinx himself, he wouldn't tell us were he has going. no matter how we begged. Well this last Christmas he finally told us.
No I am not telling you...
at least not yet..
Anyway we had our first meeting with "B" yesterday. We asked questions, reviewed charts, looked at hour health records and such. We asked a shit load of questions..
(took 3 hours of "B"'s time)
We signed up..
So not the fun part... measurements..I won't gross you out with those details but we can all say, "It wasn't pretty"!
Then.(hear scary music here)
THE SCALES (echo, echo, echo)
I weighted 205.25
205 is bad enough but to have to go and throw in the POINT 2 5.... Gotta little salt there to shove in that wound!
Anyway, as we knew portions, amounts were fixing to be limited, (and some things forbidden right now) We promptly left the "Place of weight loss" and went next door to Subway.
Another irony..
Subway next to the "place of weight loss"....