I Am Now Dr. Doolittle!
I met an interesting new friend this weekend, a Siamese cat. Her name has Chi-ling. How do I know? She told me so. Let me tell you about us meeting.
There I was on this past fine Saturday morning, minding my own business, having a morning cup o' joe on the back porch. Enjoying a little quiet time if you will, a time when nature is at it's finest. Across the yard is a vacant lot, not yet built on, and a little behind on someone mowing and trimming. The weeds are about 3 feet tall. I noticed something moving out of the corner of my eye and there she was, sneaking across her yard towards the vacant lot. I watched her, she was on a mission, sneaking up on something, I was not sure what. I saw her enter what must be a jungle to her and she disappeared.
In a bit she peeked out of the feline forest and saw me looking at her. She wandered over to where I was sitting.
"Hi! I my name is Chi-ling and I couldn't help but notice you staring at me. See anything that interested you?" She said with a slight laugh.
I looked at my coffee, then at her again, wondering if I had accidently grabbed the Baileys instead of the creamer.
"Yes I am talking to you!" She stated. "What is it with you humans? I had to quit talking to my human. She started walking around the house when I did talk to her with her hands on her ears going la la la la la la."
"I was just noticing you sneaking up on something," I answered with a bit of surprise, "And wondered what you where after."
"Oh, just an annoying lizard. He had been teasing me through the window all night. When my human let me out, pay back was hell buddy!" She said. "He just thought he was safe! He had the nerve to think he was going to disappear into the field! I showed him! I snuck up on him and gave him a good one two. I have him back here, do you want to see?" She started to turn and head back to the field.
"Oh my god no!" I replied, "That is GROSS!"
"Well I think my human will think so too, but I have to do something to get her going. I am going to take it back in my mouth then beg to be let in the house." She laughed as she spoke, "That should start her day well!"
"You where in that field quite a long time," I asked, "What else did you do in there or did it take you that long to beat the lizard?"
"It did not," She said quite indignantly, "I got him in the first few seconds he entered! There were quite a few things to capture my attention while I was in there. I saw the ant farm commune. I never quite get that whole action, all playing follow the leader, single file, one by one. What is the fun in that? I had to pretend I was looking for something I buried and throw a little dirt their way. When I sat the Lizard down, they started coming my way! I was like no way! I did all the hard work, you are NOT getting my lizard! Fend for yourselves!"
"I bet they appreciated that!" I said to Chi-ling. "What else did you see?"
"Well the Dung Beetle family was all up doing their business. Crappy existence if you ask me. What kind of thing to teach your kids, rolling excrement!" She said shaking her head. "Then I saw a snake. He was being rather lazy and sunning himself in a warm spot. The taste of snakes in my mouth disgusts me or I would have been bringing him back to my human," She laughed, "So I just teased him a bit and stalked him in circles, you know they have limited vision and he was rather mad that he had to keep moving his head to watch me. I tired of that rather quickly and I smelled an aroma that my human sometime partakes of, so I was following my nose. That is when I saw you staring at me. Don't you have anything better to do?"
"Well right at this moment no," I said.
"Obviously!. Well I am off to entertain my human," She said as she trotted off. She looked back over her shoulder and yelled, "Hey, by the way, get a life!" Then she started laughing. I could hear her laughing all the way back to the vacant lot. She was mumbling under her breath. I couldn't quite catch what she was saying, but I did hear the words stupid and humans. I watched her disappear into the tall weeds.
What a way to start my day. I don't dare tell anyone. Who would believe me?