If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
and if you know me you know it is something I would do!
I like kids, when they are someone else's. there was a time in my life i wanted more kids. that time is not now. been there, done that, read the book. Now small children are OK when they are in their place. mcdonalds, the park, etc... not next to me in a adult restaurant. Especially when they have liberal parents. I was in outback one night with one of my girl friends and a older couple was seated next to us with a young child. about 6 i guess.. they obviously had this child late in life as they were not young. at all. this spawn of satan proceeded to ruin my dinner and that of the partron's seated around me. he yelled, threw colors, screamed at the top of his lungs because he wanted something to eat that this place didn't have. it was so bad the waiters and waitresses where coming out of the kitchen to see what could cause such a commotion. finally dad drug him to the bathroom, with a not so sincere threat of a "spanking". the satan child knocked the salt, pepper and sugar off the table while looking at mom going "mom, mom, what are you going to do about this?" dad drags him off. we can hear them in the bathroom...damn..the manager comes over and offers to move us, but it is crowded, i have my food so we decide not to move. after their food comes, they finally come out of the bathroom. dad looks worse for wear than the, dare I call it this, child. major pout on his face and dad is pushing him along the way to the table. remember i said he knocked that stuff off the table? well somewhere along the way he lost his shoes and he stepped on a sweet and low packet with only his socks on.. horrors!!!
I hear "ouch, ouch that hurt" and he looks at me with evil satan eyes. I look right back, put on my "i am a bitch don't fuck with me buddy" look and said "I eat small children" with a growl and thru my clenched teeth. I think I scared him more than dad did! About freaking time. And if I had let the manager move me I wouldn't have gotten the pleasure of giving that child a nightmare!
listening to Joss Stone...