A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES
He thinks it was a figment of his imagination and he drives on without second thought. Soon he sees another sign, which says:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES
Suddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real.... Then he drives past a third sign saying:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT
His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?" He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."
"Very well, my son. Please follow me."
The man is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door." He does as he is told and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door. This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway." He gets $100 out of his wallet and places it in the
second nun's cup.
He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:
GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER
Friday, May 27, 2005
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Friday, May 20, 2005
Friday's Funnies
Inheriting a Fortune:
Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Robert decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So he went to a singles bar and he searched until he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.
"Right now, I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but
within a month or two, my father will pass and I'll inherit over 20
million dollars." The woman went home with Robert, and four days later
she became his stepmother.
Men will never learn.
Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Robert decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So he went to a singles bar and he searched until he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.
"Right now, I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but
within a month or two, my father will pass and I'll inherit over 20
million dollars." The woman went home with Robert, and four days later
she became his stepmother.
Men will never learn.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Added blogs
Wandering around the web lately I have found some good site to add to my blog roll..
SomeSome kinda sick but funny
Some thought provoking
Some just people I would bet I would likelike this dude and this person
some standing on the soap box LOL
Check them out if you have some ramblin time...
SomeSome kinda sick but funny
Some thought provoking
Some just people I would bet I would likelike this dude and this person
some standing on the soap box LOL
Check them out if you have some ramblin time...
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Speeding Ticket Aftermath
Yes, it is true, I am not fan of attorneys that solicit via TV, newspaper etc.
SO
We all know I got the big speeding ticket and that I have issues with the way I got it anyway. I have decided to "fight it" via an attorney and a friend at work recommended one that she uses.. (yes I said uses...LOL)
And I like his name.
Charlie Brown.. he HAS to be a good guy with a name like that don't you think??
But, back to my rant for the day..
I have received no less than 20,
twenty
two - zero
one fifth of a hundred....
Mailings in the mail from various attorneys wanting to solicit my business to fight my ticket from all freaking over the county.
K
I know, variety is the spice of life, you should have options, some people wouldn't know who to use... I've heard or said them all but DAMN.. It is just the principle of the thing ya know? I also know my speeding ticket isn't a Big Ticket Item for attorneys so I shouldn't bitch. (But what would be the fun in that) It's not like I was in a wreck or have a workmans comp case. Now if I that was the case.... look out!!! Can you imagine the mailings and or contacts from attorneys then? We would lose a forest..
I think I will post them all in a post called
Amulance Chasers.
Disclaimer:
know any good lawyer jokes?
Just kidding...
SO
We all know I got the big speeding ticket and that I have issues with the way I got it anyway. I have decided to "fight it" via an attorney and a friend at work recommended one that she uses.. (yes I said uses...LOL)
And I like his name.
Charlie Brown.. he HAS to be a good guy with a name like that don't you think??
But, back to my rant for the day..
I have received no less than 20,
twenty
two - zero
one fifth of a hundred....
Mailings in the mail from various attorneys wanting to solicit my business to fight my ticket from all freaking over the county.
K
I know, variety is the spice of life, you should have options, some people wouldn't know who to use... I've heard or said them all but DAMN.. It is just the principle of the thing ya know? I also know my speeding ticket isn't a Big Ticket Item for attorneys so I shouldn't bitch. (But what would be the fun in that) It's not like I was in a wreck or have a workmans comp case. Now if I that was the case.... look out!!! Can you imagine the mailings and or contacts from attorneys then? We would lose a forest..
I think I will post them all in a post called
Amulance Chasers.
Disclaimer:
know any good lawyer jokes?
Just kidding...
Monday, May 16, 2005
Friday, May 13, 2005
Friday's Funnies
Bumper Stickers we'd all like to see...
Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.
Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"
The proctologist called ...they found your head.
Everyone has a photographic memory ...some just don't have any film.
Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.
Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.
Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody But Me,"
Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.
Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.
If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.
Hang up and drive!!
And The Number One Bumper Sticker you'd Like To See!!
Welcome to America...now speak English
Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.
Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"
The proctologist called ...they found your head.
Everyone has a photographic memory ...some just don't have any film.
Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.
Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.
Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody But Me,"
Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.
Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.
If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.
Hang up and drive!!
And The Number One Bumper Sticker you'd Like To See!!
Welcome to America...now speak English
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Learn From the Weather...
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.
It pays no attention to criticism.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Friday, May 06, 2005
Friday's Funnies
Things I heard...
I was at this casino minding my own business and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're relentless.
I was at this casino minding my own business and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're relentless.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
How can this be right??
So, I got a ticket. A speeding ticket.
I admit I was speeding, I saw the cop, looked down and I was doing 70.
He turned on his lights, I pulled over on a side street as I was on a smaller 2 lane road.
The cop turns around but doesn't pull in behind me. I am thinking "What the he**"
Another cop appears and pulls in behind me. Where the heck did he come from?
He comes up to the window and says he has stopped me for speeding.
I never speed, you can ask the hub. I have no idea why I was this day. Other things on my mind I guess. I am thinking I will be nice maybe he either won't give me a ticket or see I haven't had any in years and give me a warning, (last ticket I got was in Texas when I lived there).
He tells me the "other" cop clocked me at 70 but he clocked me at 78.
Again, I am thinking "What the F**"!
I get a ticket, for 78, and he didn't even have me sign the ticket. In Texas you have to sign it, as it isn't an admission of guilt, just that you acknowledge you where cited and agree to dispute or show up for court.
The hub says in NC that doesn't apply.
Still seems a bit off and wrong to me... 2 different speeds, not having to sign it..
The hub wants to get a Lawyer and fight it, which is OK by me...
What up with that??
I admit I was speeding, I saw the cop, looked down and I was doing 70.
He turned on his lights, I pulled over on a side street as I was on a smaller 2 lane road.
The cop turns around but doesn't pull in behind me. I am thinking "What the he**"
Another cop appears and pulls in behind me. Where the heck did he come from?
He comes up to the window and says he has stopped me for speeding.
I never speed, you can ask the hub. I have no idea why I was this day. Other things on my mind I guess. I am thinking I will be nice maybe he either won't give me a ticket or see I haven't had any in years and give me a warning, (last ticket I got was in Texas when I lived there).
He tells me the "other" cop clocked me at 70 but he clocked me at 78.
Again, I am thinking "What the F**"!
I get a ticket, for 78, and he didn't even have me sign the ticket. In Texas you have to sign it, as it isn't an admission of guilt, just that you acknowledge you where cited and agree to dispute or show up for court.
The hub says in NC that doesn't apply.
Still seems a bit off and wrong to me... 2 different speeds, not having to sign it..
The hub wants to get a Lawyer and fight it, which is OK by me...
What up with that??
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Last of the Mohicans
Monday, May 02, 2005
More Pics and...
Back at work, and covered up.. go figure!
I am really getting tired of always being so behind and today was almost more than I could stand..I need a new job but it seems an endless cycle of submitting resumes and little to no responses.
I am thinking about running an ad on myself or a job. What do you think? Ideas?
Here are some misc. pics from San Fran and a panoramic of San fran from Treasure Island..
I am really getting tired of always being so behind and today was almost more than I could stand..I need a new job but it seems an endless cycle of submitting resumes and little to no responses.
I am thinking about running an ad on myself or a job. What do you think? Ideas?
Here are some misc. pics from San Fran and a panoramic of San fran from Treasure Island..
Sunday, May 01, 2005
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