A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the nearest hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing the Lord, she asked, "Is My Time Up?" The Lord said, "No! You have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well look good. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit and killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of the Lord again, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 some years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of That ambulance?"
The Lord replied, "Girrrlllll, I didn't even recognize You!"