HAPPY BURFDAY!!!!

Today is Captians birthday!

He insists that he no longer has birthdays...
I insist he does!
(When has a mans opinion on such things really mattered girls??? LOL)
So I wish to send out to him via the world wide web a rousing HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
and an
I Love Ya!
May this day bring you lots of pleasure!

Tennille

Capturing the Moment

Yesterday I photographed my first wedding. I work witht he bride, though not closely, and one of my friends here had told her I do good picutres... Yeah of animals and people when they don't know I am looking! LOL
It went well I think, although it is almost a prerequisite that with a group of that size I am sure I "offended" someone. Oh well! Funny thing, my legs feel like I had one hell of a workout yesterday! All that up and downing I guess! Who knew you needed to do leg exercises pre- shooting a wedding!
The wedding was at 3 but we had previously agreed that I would get there 1 to grab some intimate shots of the bride and groom getting ready and any group shots we could before the wedding started. Also they where having the wedding vetoed, and I had told the bride it would be better if I didn't attempt to take any pictures during the ceremony as that would mess up the video. There was one little girl in the wedding that was oh so cute! We shall call her Little Girl as I SUCK at names and she was the brides sisters daughters daughter, and that is just entirely to long to type more that once! She was adorable with her curly hair, in her little pink dress, with little pink pearls and no shoes. She was shoe obsessed though, I was warned if I took my shoes off she would more than likely want them and wear them. A girl after my own heart!I just hope someone show her the value of a good shoe sale vs full price. Shoes I like, shoes on sale I love!
Either way..They put the back of her hair up and topped it with a baby's breath crown with little pink and white ribbons off the back. She was cute, and she knew it! And she was a ham too! She had a radar sense that I was around with the camera and about to shoot her..hummm, camera ham, shoe freak.. Think she is the future Sara Jessica Parker? LOL
The brides attendants where her 2 daughters and her grooms daughter. Her eldest was her maid of honor. They had wonderful black dresses and the grooms where quite dapper in their black tuxes. The bride wore a mint green dress that flowed beautifully when she walked. I say all this to interject here that those colors where a real bonus for me. White on white is soooo hard to shoot!
Short summary of the wedding..
Her brother in law walked her own the aisle,
she was resplendent and glowing,
She and her fiancee held hands at the front during the ceremony,
her daughters started crying silently,
Her new daughter started crying not so silently,
She started crying,
Her fiancee brushed a tear from her cheek,
I started crying..
A young family member sang,
more tears where had by all,
They were pronounced man and wife,
they kissed..
Yes there was more but....You got the gist of it.
After the wedding we did the usual, but not usual, group shots. I say that because there were A LOT of family there! They didn't think I could get everyone in one shot.. Ha ha I say! I did it. This is the point where I think I could have offended someone... Because I always didn't get the husbands and wives right next to each other, but I did the best I could seeing as there were probably 40 or more in that shot...
We did all the various group shots, then off to the reception we went. I took a lot of shots there, and the food was great!
I got the groom taking off the garter, then she threw her bouquet, then off they went in a baby blue 67 (I think) Chevelle. Great car!
Oh and it is amazing the people that want a special picture of a particular group of family members! I didn't mind at all but almost everyone of them asked me at some pivotal moment. I just said I would be glad to take anything they want as soon as I captured this shot. Of course you want everyone to be happy, but I was there for the bride!
I can't wait to get the pictures back and see them! If they are any count I will scan some and share...
At 5:30 I was driving home, hot, tired but actually excited at how well it went. I hope she thinks so too.

Pain In My....

Yesterday I sneezed. So what you might say. Well when I sneezed I did something to my back, right between my shoulder blades. Yesterday and still today it hurts to turn my head, or lift my left arm to high. (I know, I know, so don't turn your head or lift your left arm.) Anyway.....WTF? It wasn't a large, loud AHHH - CHOOO noises, hurled from my mouth like a redneck at a family reunion. Nor was it one of those small, short, high pitched "chew" noises that makes you want to go, "Oh look, the blonde sneezed, isn't that cute" sneezes. Just a regular ol' sneeze, with consequences.
Now here is where the "OUCH" comes in....
Some of the ladies in my office thought it was funny to tell me "That's what happens when you get old!"
OUCH..
If anyone says anything to me today I am just gonna tell them VH1 is having a "reliving the 70's" day coming up and I am practicing the robot so I can wow my friends and influence people. The next person that says something about my age might just be suprised how well my right hand works....

My Astronomical Horoscope

props to my sister...


Here is our horoscope for the week ending 7/8/04: In accordance with the astrological omens, I've assembled a host of snappy one-liners for you to wield in the coming week, Cancerian. Sooner or later, it will make sense for you to utter every one of them. 1. "It only seems kinky the first time." 2. "Even if the voices in my head aren't real, they still have some good ideas." 3. "To make your prayers come true, you have to get off your knees." 4. "I'm the good kind of bad." 5. "It's not really a party till something gets broken." 6. "Shut up and dance." (P.S.: I don't anticipate there'll be any messy consequences if you cultivate the attitude I'm suggesting here. But in case there are, invoke this disclaimer: "I didn't do it. You can't prove it. Nobody saw me.")


Now is 1,3 or 4 my fav... hummmmmm

I Had A Fifth on the Fourth!

Not me actually but someone I know. Although I did try Smirnoffs new mandrin "malt liquor". I don't know why they don't call it beer, and it was rather tasty. We grilled out and did the pre-requestite things you are supposed to do on the fourth. We slept in a bit, planned to cook out, went furniture shopping, drank a beer or 2. Yes, I said furniture shopping! Doesn't your family have that time honored tradition? LOL. And yes, if you are wondering we did buy something. 2 couches and a chair w/ottoman. Merging 2 households you would think we would have everything one would need. You would think. We even need dishes. Don't ask what we where doing pre-merger.. It sure wasn't with out. Anyway, we tried our best to find something that went with my furniture as he likes my set best. After many stops we found one we liked on Saturday. Yes I said Saturday, we started this hunt as a "just for fun" type trip then. Saturday we went to Bassett, (ehhh..), Lane, (ehhhh..), and Rooms to Go, (score! We fond one that would go!). Sunday we hit Haverty's (overpriced, but we expected that), and Rhodes, (just plain ewwww!).Sp back to Rooms to go we went, proper questions to ask in hand. Turns out the one we liked, that would go, was made rather shittily (hear screaching brakes here!!). But there was another style we liked, only problem is that meant re-doing the whole Livingroom. Sooo... 24 months interest free financing here we come! Now we get to sell the old stuff...Such is life!...
But this was a relatively small part of our "we have no plans" weekend. We worked in the yard and went out to dinner Friday night, We cleaned house and unpacked Saturday, then went to do errands and furniture shop. Sunday we slept in, then went Furniture shopping, Monday we golfed in the AM, then took a old timers nap, worked in the yard more and some last minute cleaning pre-company coming today. Any minute in fact.. SO I must go for now!
Hope your weekend was great!

ROTFLMAO!! 

3 guesses what I did this weekend!

first 2 don't count!


I have a few more changes to make.. like:
i want a picture of me where the plane is..
I want to change the scrolling verbiage at the bottom
i want new music..
I want to add my map back..
i want my daily blog titles to be titles..

BUT:
I have added blog rolling...YAY!
i have a total new format...YAY!
I have NO ad banner!

What do ya think?

JoAnn Spelt Like Joan

Today is my Seaster's Birthday!


I feel like telling the world!


OH! I just did!


Give her site a visit and wish her many B'days if you can!

Men as Friends

looks like it ain't gonna happen


I arrived at this conclusion from a recently read statement in a Blog I peruse that said;

"Straight men view women as either a potential sexual experience, their mother or someone who will tell whatever they say to their wife or girlfriend, which will make their life a living hell."

(Props to Jef!)


I hate to believe it but after much wheel turning, rust removing and dusting out the corners (in my mind of course), I think this just might be true. Why is my question. Why can't men and women have friendships without the sexual innuendos being there? Why do men think we all want to go "run and tell" all their secrets? Why are we just a potential sexual conquest? And I sure as hell don't want to be looked at as some man's mother figure! I know, there are a lot of women out there that live to cause men strife, but there are a lot of men out there that are less than savory also.


The statement I read caused me to think back on experiences I have had. These experiences in my past have confused me, and I guess as I grow older and life experiences teach me, things start to "come into light" if you will. I think back to one time, I met this guy, we had great conversation, he had a similar funny outlook on life as I did. We saw each other a few times, then after that it was all conversation, good conversation, but just conversation. I moved on with my life and wanted to keep the "friendship" I thought we had but when he found out I moved on, all communications stopped. Interesting, and also proves the above mentioned theory. He obviously was interested in the potential sexual conquest and not anything else. I should say that was his loss but actually I think we both lost.
I guess I am different. I like any person, of any color, any sex, or sexual preference for who they are as a person. I think about what I might have missed in life if I wasn't open to people, life experiences, etc.

Can we all just get along? LOL!

July 4th = LONG Weekend!

What are your plans?
I have none. Do you know how great that is?

Long Time No Blog

I have been ultra busy this past week. I have been doing my job and part of 2 co-workers who one is on vacation (dog) and one is out of town (skank). So, you can guess how these past few days have been.
Also my old boss, part of the reason I left Florida, has been out to prove me an idiot this week. (see me pulling my hair out!) 4 Times in the last 4 days... All 4 times he was wrong. now who is the idiot. Only thing, nothing will be said to him, never as, never will.
Tonight I did find time to ride my bike a bit in the neighborhood. Hoping to do so again Wednesday nite, but there is a good chance of rain now! Figures! I get a new toy and the weather goes haywire!
I also started my new template design last night. I am having a bit of a "brain freeze" on just quite the direction I want to go with it. Guess because of being so busy lately.
Ideas from anyone?

Click Me Like a Bic!

If you click on the pic of the grocery and pawn it will enlarge and you can read it. I have visions of someone pawning their VCR to buy a RC cola and a moon pie.

WOW! A grocery AND pawn! 

Signs around town that are funny. I want to rent it from the hours of.. OH, let's say 5 to 7 PM... 

There are several signs around town that I find quite humorous. I am going to post some here for your amusement. Or at least you can see how strange my sense of humor is!

Me on my new Ride! 

My New Ride 

I am now the proud owner of a new Honda Shadow A.C.E.!

more to come!!!

Yellow Shoes


I have the some of the coolest shoes and this particular pair are simple slides in a bright, lemony shade of yellow made of a fine weave of linen. They go with this really great light cotton sundress I have, that has hues of turquoise, green and yellow. I feel like a fresh spring day when I wear the dress and my yellow shoes. I feel so good I just KNOW I inspire others to have a great day. I also listen for peoples comments on my clothes, (if any). A "You look good today" Means much more than a "That is a nice dress". Statement A means your overall look is flattering, statement B means the dress looks good but not necessarily on you. Try it out if you don’t believe me! Anyway, I wander in my ramblings..
I like shoes, like any woman, but am not obsessed with them. I have about 20 pair, but being the bargain shopper that I am, I have paid very little for any of them. But back to my yellow shoes...
Yesterday I wore my dress of spring colors and the wonderful yellow shoes. I was having just a peach of a day feeling all clean, cool and collected. I took a trip to the "little girls room" as we all do daily. I just get in the stall, poised and ready to p.. well you know, when I hear someone come in and say, "Hello Marti, you know, you have more neat shoes.".
My eyes wide open (not shut, ha ha).
OMG!
What do I say?
How do I feel about being recognized in the bathroom?
And all because of my yellow shoes!
Damn the yellow shoes!
Why does this bother me so?
I shook my head to clear my mind and replied, "Thanks, Walmart $6!" Promptly went back to my office and took my shoes off.
Yeah right like that will solve anything with my bright coral painted toenails...

My Son and I in NY. (my kinda town). I am not short, he is TALL! 

Ever feel like this? LOL  

Here is my contribution to politics


George and Laura Bush and Bill and Hilary Clinton are traveling by train to the Super Bowl. At the station, George and Laura each buy a ticket and watch as Bill and Hilary buy just one ticket.

"How are the two of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks George W, astonished at what he is seeing.

"Watch and learn," answers Hilary.

They all board the train. George and Laura take their respective seats but Bill and Hilary cram into a toilet together and close the door.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Bushes see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea, so after the game they decide to try a similar plan on the return trip.

When they get to the station they see the Clintons at the window buying a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Clintons see that the Bushes don't buy any ticket at all.

"Aren't you taking a terrible chance by traveling without a ticket?" says Hilary.

"Watch and learn," answers Laura Bush.
When they board the train the Bushs cram themselves into a toilet and the Clintons cram into another toilet just down the way. Shortly after the train is on its way, George W. leaves their toilet and walks over to the toilet in which the Clintons are hiding. George W. knocks on their door and says, "Ticket, please."
And you're still trying to figure out how the Democrats lost that election

My new years resolution this year was to let everyone in my family know how much they mean to me. One by one I am letting them know. This one is for my sister Joan.


To my sister Joan (sounds like JoAnn),


I Love you.
We don't always agree on what we are both doing in our lives, but isn't that the way it is supposed to be? If we agreed on everything how boring would that be!
When I think of you I think of;
Playing Barbie's outside on Piedmont St. outside behind the bushes, underneath your bedroom window.
MY dawn doll (lol).
You sleeping with me when we where little and you where scared.
Laying on the floor our head resting in our hands, in front of my record player, listening to the Beatles, the Stones, The Hermits.
You locking yourself in the bathroom, and Jimbo lifting me up and in the bathroom window so I could unlock the door.
The look on your face that day as things transpired that I went to go live with my Dad.
The look on your face when we found each other again many years later, standing there in the door of the newspaper office. You where all grown up.
The excitement of catching up on what had happened in our lives the time we where apart.
Drum Major Joan!
Making our own recordings in Shreveport at the mall and everyone's face as they stopped to listen to you sing Anita Baker. I was so proud.
How strong you where when mom died at her funeral. We all thought it would be you that broke down not me. Wrong.
Chocolate Ice cream - because chocolate is soothing to my soul and who doesn't like ice cream!
You out in front of my Shreveport home packed up for your journey to Atlanta, your first really big move on your own. U-Haul packed, car in tow.


With out you these memories, (and ones we will have in the future) would not have been possible. I wouldn't trade them for the world. Although if I could turn back time, (insert Cher singing here), I would try to change the years we where apart. How? I am not sure as those events were really out of both of our hands.


Because I love you I have to add:


Always take care of yourself, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. If you don't, no one else will be able to assist you at these tasks.
Keep your spirits up. Things could be worse. We could live overseas.

I am Blue...
and for the most part I would say it is right...



What Color is Your Brain?
brought to you by Quizilla

Here was my day yesterday...


Oh you mean when I get that little notice "updates are available" I am supposed to update?
HUUMMMMM...
Could be why the sasser clone got all over our computers yesterday. I have to admit though, I don't do it like I should either.. Besides the average beast is afraid to do something to a work computer anyway in fear they might "crash it". And this would be so bad?? So how did that get the word crash? Doesn't crash involve 2 or more objects, (and note that both don't have to be moving) slamming into each other and causing massive damage? I have yet to see a computer run into anything moving or not...even while drinking..
Today there are dead worms in the halls. Seriously...
I have been joking and telling everyone, "See, there's your worm! We got rid of them!"
Bring on the drinks! LOL
I have all these great ideas for posts, but this week has been unbelievably busy.
The weekend is going to be also. We are moving some of my stuff, packing some of my stuff and meeting the preacher tomorrow...so who knows how long before I can be creative again. i have to say, I miss that. I really wanted to blog about Dead Presidents on Tour this week, but no time... and don't read to much into that, I liked Reagan. I just think it is weird, really weird, how he is being "flown and/or moved" to all these different locations... I kept expecting someone to come on the news and say his next appearance was sold out. I know I am weird.. but "what the hay" as we say in Texas...

I Got the Worm!


And it wasn't in Tequila!
Yesterday I was just a working along and thinking of what to blog about when
BAM!
I got the sasser worm... again... new version....
So off I go to find our IT dude and it turns out the whole office got it...
SOOOOO guess what we did all day yesterday.
So if any of you are reading this and haven't updated your virus protection or updated your windows..

DON'T PASS GO!
DO NOT COLLECT $200!

UPDATE NOW!!!

I am not an IT person, but I do know my way around, so I helped yesterday. We have a few left today...and I have to catch up on my work! Imagine!
more later as I am behind...
not telling you WHAT I am behind... LOL!!!

"Mom there are fairies in the yard!"


That was me who made that statement about 30 (ouch) years ago. Mom always liked a good tale and one spring evening we were out in the yard with some family and friends. Just as the first haze of night was coming over the yard, I saw a small light blink, then another, and another! I was mesmerized by the neon green blinking.
"Mom, what is that?"
"Why those are fairies."
"Awwww Mom, come on.."
She proceeded to tell me the story of how in the old days, people really thought the lightning bugs were fairies. In the low evening light, all you can really see is the light, a small body and the fluttering of wings. They believed if you caught them you would have good luck.
"Mom can I have a jar? I wanna catch some!"
So off she went to get an old mayo jar, and Jimbo poked holes in the lid for me. Off I went! I think I managed to collect about 5.
"Now what do I do with them, Mom?"
"Well if you keep them in the jar to long they will die."
I think this was my first real experience of having something that could die. I know I didn't even truely understand death, but I knew I didn't want the "fairies" to die.
I took them in my room for a bit, I turned the light out,then sat and watched them.
blink
blink, blink
blink
After a bit I took the jar outside and released the fairies.
Later that spring I saw my cousins David and Eddie and couldn't wait to share my new found knowledge with them. They being boys and older than me, thought it was a stupid story and proceeded to show me that evening how to make rings out of them by smashing them on your finger.. I was horrified..


The excitement of seeing lightning bugs is still there to this day. I walk 2 miles almost every night and the last week or so the fairies have been out doing their fairy business. I still hollar out, "Look at the fairies!"
I didn't even realize until now, that I didn't see them in Florida. Must be to humid and hot for them, maybe it frizzes their hair..

Cuteness of all Cuteness


you have to check out Lujza's blog and see her little girl's pic sleeping on the stairs! TOOO CUTE!!!

I was wrong...


It was $40 to have my truck inspected. $10 for window tint test and $30 for the inspection. Running total of expenses is now

$16 to get NC license
$209.50 First part of car tags
$40 for inspection

$265.50 and now we wait for Mr Property tax to send me THAT bill!!

My Purse feels lighter!


$209.50 later I have North Carolina tags. ($206.50 in check and $3.00 in cash for Ms Notary) The $209.50 equals up to the tag fee, title fee, highway usage fee.


But wait! If you order in the next 3 minutes you get to pay property tax also! Yes, that's right folks! Hurry now! I still get to pay property tax on my truck and that bill comes in about 3 weeks in the mail. YAY! (insert sarcasm here) But at least I got thi part done.


I have to say the tag lady was much more normal than the folks down at the DMV. I walked up to here with all my info, and she goes "Wow, you must have gotten online!" I told her I did, but actually a friend at the ofice called up to see what I needed to bring in. (My plates where expired and I was a little leary of what fees that might incur.) It only took about 10 minutes for tag lady to get my $209.50. That works out to about $20.95 per minute. Not bad for the state..And that will go up with the property tax bill. Ah State of NC!
OH! and today was tag ladies birthday, Happy Birthday Tag Lady! (hear the crowd cheer!) She got cake, and pizza, and cookies, and yellow roses from her man! You Go Girl!
So tonight I will break out the ol' tool box and put on my plate. I am so much closer to being official than any of the time I was in Florida.


Now I get to pay $10 more to get it NC inspected. I have 10 days to get that done. Any one want to guess what I am doing after work today? Huh? Do Ya?
I have to go now, something is surely wrong with me ... ha ha ha!

With a shout out to my blog buddy Lujza...


Answer the following questions in my comments so everyone can see:


1. Who are you?
2. Have we ever met?
3. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
4. Describe me in one word.
5. What reminds you of me?
6. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
7. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
8. Are you going to put this on your weblog and see what I say about you?
9. What do you love like a fat kid loves cake?
10. What makes you come back here?

Happy Saturday!!!

Today I plan to talk about some shit!


Why "shit" is the most functional cuss word in our modern lexicon:

Did you know that you can be shit faced, shit out of luck, or have shit for brains? You can get your shit together, find a place for your shit or decide to shit or get off the pot. (I personally have to much shit on my desk, but nowhere to put the shit.)


You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit and die. Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola. There are lucky shits, dumb shits, crazy shits, and sweet shits. (I see a lot of dumb shits every day!)


There are lucky shits, dumb shits, crazy shits, and sweet shits. There is bull shit, horse shit and chicken shit. You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot shit, or duck when shit hits the fan. (I work with a bunch of shit every day trying to turn that shit into shit that makes sense.)


You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle [the proverbial "SOS"]. You can find yourself in deep shit, or be happier than a pig in shit. Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty. Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit. (Yesterday I got some shit on my computer, that is causing me some shit, and it keeps opening shit up for shit that I know shit about!)


You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit. You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle. Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit, and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose. (I myself have shitty luck!)


When you stop to consider all the facts, this word is one of the basic building blocks of creation. For if nothing else, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!


Ain't that some shit!

Does Chocolate go bad?


Now that would be a shame!
I ask this question after a recent visit to M-mart #2. What is M-mart #2 you ask? Well that would be my right hand bottom desk drawer at work. I was just shopping there as I was getting a bit hungry for breakfast.


M-Mart has came in handy a number of times. I have made friends at M-Mart, especially hungry ones! The word gets out that if you are hungry and are looking for a snack go see M. So then I get visitors to M-mart which usually leads to some good conversation. After all, who is gonna bite the hand that feeds them? My boss visits at least once daily for his daily fix of Twizzlers. Hey if that is all it takes to keep him happy with me, NO PROB! I will stay stocked up on those for sure! I passed on the Fort Myers M-mart (#1) to S when I moved to Asheboro..S are you keeping that store well stocked? LOL.


M-mart #2 Asheboro today contains:
pkgd tuna, oatmeal, almonds, 2 paydays, equal, micro-popcorn, picnic style eating utensils, club crackers, Cheerios, peanut butter, carmex lip balm, Hot Tamales, dental floss, toothbrush and toothpaste, a sewing kit, personal products (ladies you know what I am talking about), after tanning lotion and the two staples of any Mart, Twizzlers and DARK Chocolate.


WHEW! You might think I am preparing for a disaster! Well at least I won't go hungry! Speaking of hungry, think I will go have some healthy, cholestoral lowering oatmeal!


Now if I could just figure out how to sell gas I could quit and work there full time!

I'm Getting Married in the Morning..

Ding dong! The bells are gonna chime! Pull out the stopper! Let's have a whopper! But get me to the church on time!


LOL OK I am not getting married in the morning, but soon. And for some reason I hear Eliza Doolitle's Dad (My Fair Lady) singing that song when I think about it! I choose to say little about my family or homelife for privacy reasons or that I might piss someone in my family off if I say someting they don't like, so I don't go there. (It doesn't take much to figure out who my sister is or my son via my links as they introduced me to the blogging world.) And let's face it... my life is boring as hell, I am an average Joette and who wants to read about that???
I choose to say this now as;
1) Very few people read my blog and I know most of them.
2) The upcoming events have had some interesting things happen that I want to blog about.
Like,
Never say never! I have been married one.. OK two times before. Once to my sons Dad and the last to a man I call "The Bastard". I have been single for the past 3 years, and things have been fine. I took up the stance I would NEVER get married again. Why should I? My son is grown, I have no one to be an "influence" for. Who needs that piece of paper? I just wanted to find someone that I wanted to grow old with, no civil ceremony required...HA! Again never say never! My company moved me to NC first of this year, I met him here. (More on that later) Long story short, he is a good, kind, funny, sexy man. Sooooo... Long story short, never say never!

AH the power of a few days off!


To bad it is over!


Interesting note #1: I have added a link on the left to "Who is this masked man?". Reportedly he is someone in Hollywood, both by his first blog and many reporters trying to figure out who he is. They have guessed Ben Affleck and Jim Carrey among others. His blog is interesting, and I am not sure I would want to know who it really is. I think it might take some mystery and allure away from his blog, and he might be lying, he may just be an average joe! Who knows, and do you really want to know?


Interesting Note #2: The police have even gone high tech. You can now make bids on all that "stuff" they have left in the property room. Although I am trying to figure out how someone left a lot in Cherokee Village, Arkansas, and where did some of the other stuff come from!


Saw 4 movies over the weekend, two via DVD and 2 at the movies.
First we saw "The Day After Tomorrow". The people portion of the plot was a little weak, but the effects where pretty darn good!
Second we watched "School of Rock" on DVD. Again I will say the acting was week, the humor sometimes lame, but you couldn't help but root for the kids!
Third we watched "Cheaper by the Dozen" on DVD. I have seen this before but it is still a funny cute show!
Fourth, we went to "Shrek 2". It was funny, the acting was good, (what does that say when cartoon characters are better than humans?), and it was FUNNY! A definite recommend! And if you haven't seen it yet be sure you stay seated thru the credits. There is a bit of an "update" on the donkey and the dragon!
How was your long weekend?

So I hardly ever come out of my office


I am way to busy, as usual! But today I was taking some paperwork to a girl at the other side of the cubie pit and I see everyone standing there looking out the windows. I was thinking if we where on a ship it would have sunk by now! I could hear the panic stricken calls of the captain, "Not everyone at once! People step away from the left side of the ship!"
I went over to one of the girls and said "Girl, what is going on?" And Uh huh, I said it like that.... Turns out the local law enforcement had been cruising the lot next to the woods looking around. Some of the girls had seen him out there. When he drove off, a man came out of the woods, looking around like he had done something (ya think?). He saw all the girls looking at him and ran back into the woods. So one of the girls called 911. She is trying to make the dispatcher believe that they saw what they saw and he was still in the woods. Of course anyone who say anything is getting all excited and talking out loud at the same time.
"He had on jeans shorts"
"No, they where blue!"
"No, they were black and he had on a white collared shirt!"
"It was a t-shirt"
(Ever played gossip? LOL)
Needless to say dispatcher lady can't understand a word the one girl is saying. So the dispatcher calls the cops back, all the while more of us congregate at the window.
"Glass isn't bullet proof!" one girl said.
Another spouts out with a "I wonder what he did?"
In my head I am thinking, he is looking at us right now memorizing our faces thinking "These bitches are going down!"...
A car pulls up and is going slow. It is not a cop car.
"It's his ride!" hollers one girl, "He is here to pick him up!'
Bout that time a cop car pulls up and the first car looks like he is trying to pull away from him. A collective "OH!" is let out from the window crowd. But no, it is only an undercover cop. The talk a minute and then get out to search the woods.
We all contemplate what we would do if he came out of the woods and tried to run from the cops.
"We could run out the door screaming" I hear, "That'll surely get the cops back over here!"
"We should group tackle him!" says another.
I am thinking of what this criminal would think if about 30 of us women went running outside after him. Hummm. That could go 2 ways!
We conspire about what he did and why the cops where after him.
"He robbed the Econo-Mart and tried to take a woman hostage at the car wash!"
(Can you tell I live in a small town?)
"Well I think he was barefoot!"
"He was dragging the car wash woman by the hair!"
(Remember Granddads ride to school when he was little? It went from riding, to walking, to walking with no shoes, to snow, to deep snow, etc.....)

Wanna be a spy? You to can sign up on the internet!

OH


I purchased my first part of my Motorcycle safety gear today. A DOT approved helmet. The Kawasaki place here is going out of business and I got it for a steal!

Yo Yo Yo Dog!


Well tonight is it. The final AI3 show. I watched last night and have to say for the first time I agreed with Simon on one song. Fantasia did not sing her first song well. She was "trying to make it her own" but it didn't work. I was also a bit disappointed with her "Summertime" song, again she was trying to enhance the song more that when she sang it the first time. The first time she sang it, it was "da bomb" but last night I think she was pushing it a little to much. The judges liked it though so what do I know... But now the "Believe" song she was right on! EXCELLENT! I have one issue with Fantasia though. At the first of the final 12 competition, I was like "she is gonna win this". But as the show went on, she showed that she has a 'tude. Tudes turn me off, so now I have issue with her. Plus I am a little disconcerted how they can have issues with Frenchy "modeling" on the internet, saying that doesn't make a good American Idol, well what is the difference with Fantasia and her being an unwed mother? Is that what an American Idol is? Don't get me wrong. I not a judging person, I just think the SAME RULES SHOULD APPLY FOR EVERYONE!


Diana did the "Believe" song what I would call a "pretty good OK", she pushed a little to hard on her second and third song. But I will give it to her she has a strong voice.


So, I didn't vote, but if I did I would have to say I more than likely would have voted for Diana even though I really should support felloe North Carolinian, Fantasia. Her showing her 'tude shows me if and when she makes the big time, she will not appreciate it. My opinion and my opinion only....

NCDMV


I went to the NCDMV today to take my written portion of the motorcycle test. IF I didn't say it before, when you take the Motorcycle Safety class you do not have to drive in front of the cop..(whew!). The class was fresh in my mind, I had downloaded the DMV training manual, just to read thru, I was a bit apprehensive, but I was prepared. Or so I thought..
I got there plenty early. One of the first in line. When they opened I was sent straight to a DMV chicks desk. Kind of an amazon blonde woman with blue eyes. Eyes that had issues. One of them didn't move. It is such a weird feeling to see her type on the computer, all the while looking at me with one eye and the screen with the other. She was rather nice though.
So She got me all checked in and set up for the test. I sat down to the computer to take the test and missed the first question right off the bat. Thing is, I knew better. NERVES! DAMN THEM!! I thought, "Great! This is a sign." I took a deep breathe and proceeded on. No in class, one guy said when he took the test, he skipped some questions and he didn't get the same question back in the end, he got a new question. Well all in all, I skipped 3. Guess what! I got those 3 back in the end. Hummm, that is a man for ya... But I got the questions right the 2nd time around. I ended up missing 3 which means I passed! YEAH!
I am called over to yet another DMV dude to pay my fees. This dude has never missed a meal or a donut, and he was rather curt. I was thinking he sure needed to find a personality.
Now I get a new picture, so I am pointed to the Picture Dude by Bland Donut Man. YEAH!!! Or so I thought. My hair is very curly, and today I thought it was looking pretty good, kind of natural with a little (very little) work to the top. The picture dude said "Oh, your gonna like this one!" I thought YEA! The other picture I look toothless because of where they put my name. The trail of the last letter of my last name went RIGHT thru my mouth. "Go in the waiting room, it will be about 3 minutes." Picture Dude said. So off I go to wait.
In a few I hear my name called out, I walk around to Picture Dude and he hands me my license. Turns out he is really Sarcastic Picture Dude. That or totally blind. Uh huh, I look like I just came off a three day drunk, and haven't washed my hair in a week. go figure. What is it about DMV pictures? Are they trained to take bad pics? Do they buy discounted screwed up cameras? Is it an internal contest of all DMV offices to see who can take the worst pic of someone? Hummmm
To end my Tuesday blog, I am now legal to drive a bike. WOO HOO!

I PASSED OUT!


Yes, as my unkymood shows, I feel accomplished! I have to admit, I just went thru the most grueling last 2 days I have been thru in a LONG time, taking the motorcycle training course.
I was yelled at (along with everyone else), hot and sweaty & sick to my stomach with nerves. I will admit I was never closer to giving something up than I was the first hour of the first morning. My wrists are killing me from clutching and braking. BUT I had a blast and made some new friends too! AND I PASSED! 100 on the written and 92 on the driving! Yeah for me! This is part one of a goal I had set for myself a long while back. part 2 is to own one. That is still a ways down the road yet, but donations never turned down (LOL)...
Here is what I sucked at...
1) The Box. In a small box you are supposed to do a figure 8 with out crossing the lines, using your weight, the rear brake and the throttle. the box is about 30 foot long and 18 foot wide.
2) taking a 120 turn within 2.9 seconds. I did it in 3.4, oh well.
I aced the 2nd gear immediate stop, and the swerving exercise. So as long as I don't do any figure 8's in a box, or make a fast turn, I will be alright! LOL I am sure the turn will come with practice. And I intend on practicing a lot before I take a major road trip.
Tomorrow I go to the NCDMV and take their written test. If I pass that, I get it added to my license! WOO HOO!

This is worth a Friday looksie..be sure to check out all the services they offer and the contact us page!

T.G. freakin I.F!
For Friday Fun


This site is too good! I am creating my ex-bosses' face now and I have darts!!!


Reds' Friday Five

1) Now that it is the weekend what are your plans?
2) What do you to wind down at the end of the day?
3) Relaxation for you is?
4) Your ideal weekend consists of what?
5) You look forward to the weekend why?


Reds Answers
1) Now that it is the weekend what are your plans?
I am going to take a motorcycle training course of course!


2) What do you to wind down at the end of the day?
<Well if I told you I would have to kill you...


3) Relaxation for you is?
A cabana boy.. oh wait, I mean a glass of wine, a good meal and good company. Did I mention my glass was 64 ounces?


4) Your ideal weekend consists of what?
Sex, eating, sex, drinking, sex, sleeping, sex. Oh, and did I meantion sex? LOL!!


5) You look forward to the weekend why?
Well Duh! read the previous answer silly!

OK,Maybe I am putting the cart before the horse, actually I am putting the cart before the horse, but I am really excited about this weekend and taking the motorcycle course.
SOOOO, I have been online window shopping.
I went to Harley and I like this one.
I went to Yamaha and I like this, and this.
I went to Honda and I like this.
I went to Kawasaki and I like the Vulcan 800 classic. Due to their "ultra flash" site I can't link that pic but you can select it of you care to look..
Now understand I am a year and a half to 2 years out to getting one of my own, but window shopping can be fun!!
Besides, if gas gets to be much more, I might need to get one sooner!

GO FIGURE!!



You are a Dubliner.


What's your Inner European?
brought to you by Quizilla

I am a freakin etch a sketch...


You're an Etch-a-Sketch!! You're the creative,
artsy type who doesn't need to actually utilize
a single muscle group in order to have fun.
Doesn't matter though, you're still cool.


What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

First a few quick updates to yesterday's story...
Update #1 - I wanted to add to yesterday's story that the minute we got home, I had to put a bra on so I could go to the store.. LOL go figure..
Update #2 - I got in the class to learn to ride a motorcycle along with motorcycle safety this weekend!! Gonna get my license! Part one of a 2 part life goal, part 2 is to own my own bike.


Biker Bitch


I am someone's biker bitch. I'm not sure how I feel about that term, but from my purchases it appears I like it!
I guess "freedom" got to me. I went hog wild (that is kinda funny, isn't it? LOL. Hog - bike rally..)
OK as I had stated, I have never been to a bike rally before, so I had to have the t-shirt. Well not really a t-shirt but a camisole version. First stop we made I saw one that I REALLY liked but it wasn't really a "rally" shirt. But it was real cute! It was a black, wifebeater style shirt with a silver studded eagle on the front, and studded around the neckline. I was like, no, I will find one that says Myrtle Beach somewhere. But R bought it for me anyway. He snuck it up to the check out and after he paid he said "At these things if you like it you buy it or it may not be there later". Such a sweetie..
Anyway on we go. There where lots of vendors to check out their wares, everything from special paint jobs to massager chairs. Guess the later was for all us "old folks" after a days ride. So long story short, I ended up with a black camisole trimmed in lace, and a white one with chain straps. Yes I said chain! Also I ended up with a leather riding vest. It comes complete with lace up sides, fringe, and purple suede roses inset in the yolks on the front and back. The lady who helped me said "We have the matching chaps!" I looked at her as I sweated and thought, uh, NO... but you know, in cooler weather they might just be the ticket. Humm, maybe I DO want the chaps! Besides, you are supposed to wear your leather gear everytime you ride for protection. uh huh..

I am becoming such a good and stylish biker bitch! (If there is such a thing!)

Set Those Puppies Free!


I went to my first Bike week this past weekend. Yep I did. And in getting prepared I had to go shopping for shirts. No, I didn't use it as an excuse for shopping, rather I HATE hot weather, I am SUPER fair of skin and I do not have a lot of cute summer wear. BUT, as this year I have a tan, I thought "What the hay!", I bought a halter-top and it is pink! (Hereinafter referred to as my skank shirt and I use skank lovingly.) I have always been told if you have red hair, don't wear pink unless you wanna be on the back cover of Vogue wearing a black strip across your eyes walking on a big DON'T. Which of course would thrill me. But that is a whole different story.
Anyway, I have one of Victoria Secret convertible bras. It can be a regular bra, a strapless, a racer back, or a halter bra, so I am thinking, OK, this is cool, I can be a respectable skank. So the night of purchase, I am trying the skank shirt on. I take my VS bra, convert the straps and I am sorry to say my VS convertible bra as a halter bra around my neck has got to be close to how it feels to be a pulley on a motor hoist. Don't get me wrong, I am not huge, but I am not small either.
So, OMG I have a dilemma! I haven't worn a skank shirt well...EVER and I haven't gone braless...well...EVER!! My step mom used to drill in my head, wear your bra or you'll be saggy when your older. Not gonna tell you the visions in my young head back then. Funny thing though, back in high school the boys used to call me "band-aid" as a (cruel) joke. I was pretty much a pirates dream, an A cup if that constitutes a cup size at all LOL. HA! If they could see me now! Again another story.
Back to the skank shirt..
So I decided to "set those puppies free". Like the song says, "Oh what a feeling!" My frontal appendages where yelling out, "Free at last! Free at last!" I felt naked and dressed at the same time. Ha Ha! Even more did I feel like a skank. And are you ready for this? I went braless all weekend, shhhhhhh don"t tell!!!
OF course I had to have the T-Shirt from the rally but that is another story for later this week...
So know I have to go and sign up for motorcycle classes.
No, I am not kidding. That is one of my life goals. To learn to ride one, and to own one.
Later!

More thoughts from my head via a poem. sort of...


Words


I find it hard to describe
the way I feel.
When I'm with you,
nothing else matters.
As you pull me close,
and hold me,
my mind turns blank
to the outside world.
I act from my heart.
I can tell things by your eyes
and your heart is open.
Words speed by in my head
when I try to say how I feel..
I find easier at times,
to put my words down on paper.
I always want to show you
how much I care.
Right now,
the best way to say how you make me feel
is to say,
I love you.

Name Generator

Haven't you always wanted to know this!!!

Your Nerd Name - mine is Gracetha - Python Wizard
Your Office Ho name - I am The Drunk Meister
Your Gansta name - mine is Mercedes Rollin' Monkey Smuggler
Your Porn Star name - Mine is Tempest Sinn
Your Fairy name - Mine is Columbine Goblinwitch
Your Smurf Name - Mine is Fidel Smurf
Your Jedi Name - Mine is FOXMA ROFOR of the planet Vicoden
Your Vampire Name - Mine is Chastity Fey aka Succubus of Beijing
And Finally Your Hip Hop Name - Mine is Queen Baby Mack Cubis

Been ultra busy this week. Have out of town company at work..
BUT
I saw this and thought it was too cool. I am going to add it to my list of places I spy on!


Astronomy Picture of the Day

OK, in copying my sister and Sam, I pose the following:


Ask me three (or more) questions (by e-mail or the comment box). Ask me anything you want and I will truthfully answer. Then, go to your blog and copy and paste this, allowing your friends to ask you three (or more) questions.


This could be interesting! LOL


From my seaster:


1) If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?
I was once married to the devil and yes, he has a name. It is "the bastard". You've met him. 13 years of hell. But we do go thru these things to learn don't we? Maybe I wouldn't appreciate what I have now. Seems like a lot of shit to go thru to get here though!


2. If you were independently wealthy, but still chose to work, what would you do?
I would be a plant nursery owning, free lance photographer, who supported a no kill shelter.


3. What celebrity do you lust after?
OH my, you want to know my darkest secrets If you don't you?
OK I confess... the celebrity I lust after is Pluto, with Mel Gibson running a close 2nd. Well I don't know, i sure like Nicolas Cage...hummm

The Cicadas Are Coming, The Cicadas Are Coming!


Seems every 17 years these little flying noisy bugs show up. And I am lucky enough to be here in NC in their year!! Feel the excitement! Actually I am thinking Photo Op as this is a rarity..
Anyway. They emerge sometime in May out of your lawn, from little dirt piles that look like you should be talking you dog to the vet. THEY FLY.. OMG. They fly around thru most of June. (Bet all the NC June brides are excited...what's that on the cake?
It makes the news here. There are Cicada watches. There are FAQs about Cicadas..
go to my link, check it out, someone has actually asked if it would hurt their kids to eat them. I should be suprised but I am not. I just find that totally GROSS.
I can see my now if one comes towards me. I have always said that any bug, snake, slimy slithery thing will kill me poisonous or not, because I would kill myself running from it.. I am not a wuss, bugs just aren't my thing.
Let's see, they come out in May, hang around till June.. I know where my *** will be and it sure not outside!!!

Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary
I got this from a friend and had to pass it on!


BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing the boss' ass rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMS: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The Anna Nichole show or the Bachelor is a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" (meaning that the requested document, like the person's brain, could not be located).

GENERICA: Features of the North American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust(leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING).

Add Ons


WOW, I got my pull downs done and my search box...I am amazed at myself!
I also added in a fade in feature. When you first key up my site, it should fade in...
And I did it all on my lunch today!!
Tell me what you think!!
My only thing now is I signed up for Blogrolling and I don't think that will work with my pull down verbage...hummm
I really like the concept of blogrolling.....


Our work computers are getting the sasser worm. It is amazing all the things hackers can do. Doesn't even take a download for this one... Amazing!! I downloaded the stinger and isolated it on me, but I can get it again...WTF?
Oh Well... Will check out my computer tonight...

Lifeline Calculator


Who really wants to know how long you are gonna live but if you are daring try this..

I Snore, Therefore I Am...


OK, I will admit it, I snore. Not all the time but on occasion and especially during allergy season. Why is it we are so embarassed over some bodily functions that we can not help? Mind you I said "we can not help". My first husband thought farting was funny and one of his friends could belch sentences. Uh-huh, yeah. His name was LeRoy. Go Figure. The friend's name, not my 1st husband..His name was Harold... go figure again.... Bet you have a pretty picture of me now huh. Let's just say I was young and dumb then. Needless to say he really impressed my mother. Actually he made her "good side" when she slaved to make homemade French Dip sandwiches with au jour, and he let off with a "I don't like a G.D. sandwich." Yes I am being sarcastic, because she was not pleased. I also think now I musta needed to have been hit with a load of bricks to see the light back then. But I get off tract here.
Last night, I was pretty tired, but I HAD to watch "10.5" even though I would be us past my usual bedtime. Don't laugh. I like to get up at 5 AM. Anyway, now there is ya some bad acting! Kim Deleney must have lost her acting skills when she went off to "dry out". But I have to add that she wasn't the only one that sucked like a hoover.....
OH!
And that train that got consumed by the fault line??? Come on, what are the odds that they would build miles of train track, all on a fault line. uh huh. And I saw that overhead shot. That was a model train if I ever saw one. I should know. I have 3.
OH! OH!
And the governers assistant, who husband kept calling her to talk about them having a baby, all the while these massive quakes are happening? Come on, I am sure there are thousands of things to talk about during a quake, and having a baby ain't one of them. And like the phone would work!!!
I could keep on with the OH!s but I regress again.... (and yes I will finish it tonight. The earth quake footage is pretty cool!)
I had just got to sleep when I let off with one of those breathing in snores. Like when your mouth is relaxed and our upper palette has relaxed. I let off with a rousing hhhrumppht.....My body jumped and my eyes came open wider than making a politically incorrect statement in front of a bunch of harrasement lawyers.
First thing I think was "Was that me?" Then a quick "Who did I wake up?" Then the embarasment sets in... "OMG, I can't believe I just did that...blush....
But it sure doesn't take me long to go back to sleep... via a turn of the head and holding my mouth shut with the prop of my hand.....
I didn't say I had a point with this story either..

Some, what the.... moments
When I grow up I wanna be a......porn star?????
A big DUH.. YA THINK?
Someone is lookin a little like a new Tim Burton character
EWWW EWWW EWWWW!!

Today's Horrosscope
CANCER (June 22-July 22)
Polish networking skills, and boldly speak with those you hardly know. A hot tip could make you some money. New people are attracted to your style -- you've got so much of that, though you may hardly think about it.

was that paul-ish or pole-ish???

Random Bits and Pieces


Was yesterday really a Thursday? Cause it sure felt like a Monday or a Friday the 13th (which the next one comes in August).
Boy am I glad that day is over! Whew!
Hence the TGIF unkymood. !
My son continues to astound me. Why is it when we start thinking things like, "Where is his head", or "Sometimes he acts so adult, then...", they say or do something that just blows you away? Don't get me wrong. My son is great! And yes, I know he has his faults, don't we all. But he is young, (22), and at that age of young adulthood. You mothers know what I mean, the I got the world figured out, I am in charge demeanor.... We have been there too. I remember being that age and I thought I had the world pegged. (HA! to know what I know NOW!!!) Either way, yesterday in his blog about change I was just blown away by the writing, the verbage, the poetic sound of it.
I have to add that my son and I are a lot alike. We both have a semi sarcastic sense of humor. I think we are both quick with the witty comeback, and we both have what I call the "Gypsy" gene. The urge to start anew when things get old or stagnant. And we are way different in other ways. I know sometimes he doesn't understand me, just like sometimes I don't understand him. But that is what makes us all interesting and great to know!!
Nuff bragging now!!!
Have a great Friday!

Frustrations


SPY WARE PISSES ME OFF! There I've said it. I don't know how I got it, and apparently it can happen rather you want it to or not. So I downloaded this software (Ad-ware) after much research. I had 351, yes 351 Spyware items on my computer. I got rid of them but I still get pop ups out the butt.
(literally not physically), so now I am in search of a pop up blocker that won't block commenting on blogger.
OH and to add, isn't it funny that spell check on blogger, says blogger (or blog) is not a word! LOL
hummm, me thinks today is gonna be a sarcastic day.....look out world!!!
Oh and OH #2, anyone has any tips on any good pop up blocker software drop me a line...

Sing this to the Brady Bunch tune


Here's a story
of an ex president
who liked cigars,
navy dresses,
and altoids.
all of them together equaled "Not Sex"
and he never inhaled..

"Uh Huh, of course I don't want to talk to them. Why don't you read them one of their favorite books. You know, Green eggs and I'm hammered"
Karen Walker on the phone to Rosario about her stepkids....


Gotta love her!

And There Was A Knock At My Door


I was visited last night, yes, I was. By the white shirt, black tie via bike brigade. I saw them thru my new peephole recently installed in my door by my landlord. I usually avoid these "Ring the bell at dinner" men but I was feeling rather fiesty last night. I popped open the door with a smile and asked "Can I help you?"
They proceeded to try to sell me on their brand of religion, complete with hand outs.
"But wait!" I interrupted, "Have you tried a good moisturizer lately? Hold on I will be right back!" I turned around and headed to my make-up bag.
I saw them look at each other quizzically as I turned.
I came back with my big ol' pink bottle of Mary Kay, and before you could say "But wait, I am a man in a white shirt with black tie that just rode up on my bike to sell you religion" I squirted some on both their hands.
"Go on!" I said, "Rub it in! Feel your skin drink in the moisture! Bet you didn't realize how dry you could be by riding those Schwinns. Oh and I HOPE you are wearing helmets, there are a lot of kids in my neighborhood and you are an example for them."
They, for some reason unbeknownst to me, looked a little weirded out. One of them handed me a pamphlet and asked me to read it tonight and pray.
I smiled, with a glint in my eye and said "I pray, I pray every day that I will get the opportunity to sell someone else some Mary Kay! My pink car will be here any day! You 2 must come back and see it when I get it. It will be here Friday after next! Why, We could become a team! You 2 selling religion, and moi, selling Mary Kay! Think of the possibilities!"
They looked at each other and started backing up.
"Can I interest either of you in a little eye liner or some blush perhaps? You might not look so pale in those white shirts if you used them. You know, white is really not your color." I quipped while looking at the pale blonde guy on the left. I turned to the Italian looking one on the right, "You on the other hand, umm, white looks quite good on you! How about a little lip gloss, just a pinch, to give you that freshly kissed look!"
"Uhm, ma'am, we aren't supposed to look freshly kissed." They stepped down one step.
I stepped out the door, pink bottle in one hand, religious flyer in the other. "Oh I am so sorry to hear that. We have a great line of bath products! Wouldn't that be nice after a day of pedaling religion."
They turned around now and were headed towards their bikes. "Thank you ma'am, and No thank you, we have to go now!"
"Be sure you visit my neighbor S, she is bi-polar, has a migraine and menopause today. I KNOW she could use some religion 'bout now!"
They never looked back as they rode off into the sunset, away from S's or my home. I think S and I will NOT be having THOSE visitors again! Anything I can do for my neighborhood!
Ah, yes, another day, another goal accomplished!

Monday Morning You Sure Look Fine


Yeah it's Monday. Feel the excitement? me either. Weekends just aren't long enough. This past weekend I helped R work in the yard. What a task! My legs are SORE!!! But not as sore as R! And before anyone says anything about my legs being sore, (like oh say ... 1F) it is from the yard work! The things we go thru to have our yards look nice. R can hardly walk....
R has 2 HUGE flowerbeds that were growing some right nice weeds! S said that they should have won some type of award for the sheer size and mass of them. I thought they where rather pretty, all blooming yellow and purple. Some of them were going in rather nice asymetrical patterns. I photographed them. But they had to die, yes it was time. Saturday and Sunday where beautiful days though, sun-shinny, blue skies, and one damn bird that was entirely to happy! Good thing I didn't have access to a gun! lol..........
So back to my task at hand I go... work, YUCK TODAY!!!

Time keeps on tickin, tickin, tickin, into the future....


I know I haven't been a good blogger this week. Ultra busy at work. I have a new task and after seeing this I am a little anxious...there are now 9 of these. Maybe I should go on one of these!


But I have read some rather interesting news...


Now what is actually so bad about this idea? Everyone could use a break!


And go figure


And next time you go to a drive thru animal park think about this!


I really LOVE Mexican food but not so sure any more!


Wondering what is UP with people!!!

I just got recovered from my surgery when BAM


There the Prime Minister was, making a speach when BAM


And talk about backing up....BAM

There I was walking along my property when
BAM!!!


I was on my way to work when BAM!!!


And she made Maxim's top 100 list.......BAM!! or should I say Bam!!! Bam!!! Are we really suprised? Come on, she is naturally blonde AND has boobs...

For My Sister


FREE
Is OK by me!


She'll get it!!!
LOL

A Dogs Life


On the same Saturday that I met Chi-ling, I saw 3 dogs "talking". (Smelling each others butts sounds so crass!) Two where in a nice large yard, the third an apparent stray in the neighborhood. This is what I imagined the conversation was like.


"Yea!!! The female human let us out! Let's run over there to the swing and chew the seat up. I have had about enough of the mini human pulling my ears! I'll show that little..!" Said King with excitement, wagging his tail.
"Now, now you know better than that!" Mr. Biggs interupted, "That is beneath us. Our masters have spent a lot of time grooming us, bathing us and training us, feeding us the best food, teaching us manners."
"Yes, you're right," King answered with a bit of disappointment, "How about a nice jog around the perimeter of the yard. That should help me take my mind off the mini human."
They both stretch their legs in preparation..
"Race ya!" King says to Mr. Biggs.
They take off, the older one determined to put the younger one in his place. About half way around the yard King stopped abruptly. "What's that smell?" King asked Mr. Biggs
"Smells disgusting to me." Mr. Biggs said.
"Hello, hey you guys." Came a voice.
"What was that?" King exclaimed.
"Well it wasn't me," Replied Mr. Biggs. "And we are the only dogs on this street."
"Hey, you two over there!" the voice said again.
King and Mr. Biggs looked around the yard for where the voice was coming from. At the far back corner of the fence there stood a large scruffy bit of a dog, tall, black, brown and tan, very muscular. They trot over to him.
"What are you guys up to?" said the Stray. "Wanna go over to Mrs. Browns with me and scare that cat? That Siamese thinks her poop don't stink, the 3 of us could really get her good!"
"We don't do that, we are yard dogs." Said Mr. Biggs.
"OK and that means what?" said the Stray.
"We don't DO that kind of thing, " said Mr.Biggs again. "We are better than that."
"Oh well, suit yourself," Stray said. "So after I go chase the cat I will come back and get you two and we can go roll in this great dead carcass I just spotted about a half a mile back."
"Why on earth would you want to do that?" King said wrinkling his nose.
"Why to be one with nature of course. It masks your scent, makes it easier to sneak up on your dinner!" Stray answered. "Then we can go over to Mr. Johnsons farm and raid his trash. Besides it being fun, he always has something good to eat in his trash, that human is so wasteful."
"We don't eat trash." Said Mr. Biggs with his nose in the air. "We eat only the best that money can buy, and are rewarded with rawhide treats and the occasional wet food in assorted flavors."
"WHAT?" Stray exclaimed. "You have never chased a rabbit for dinner? Never had the pleasure of stalking your next meal?"
"Oh God. Why should we reduce ourselves to that? Our masters do the hunting; they go off in that rolling thing over there and come back a little tired and bitchy but with a fine feast for us. Eat a rabbit? Yuck!" King said.
"Oh OK, just keep on eating your horse meat." Stray answered, rolling his eyes.
"Come on King, let's go. This guy is filling your head with nonsense. Horse meat, humph, you'll be having bad dreams and running in your sleep again, all hitting me on the head with your paws. You already bark in your sleep"
"But that sounds like fun Mr. Biggs." King turns to the stray, "What's your name anyway? My name is King and this is Mr. Biggs"
"See what you have done? You need to go on about your business. Next thing I know he will be trying to figure out how to jump the fence!" Mr. Biggs stated sternly.
Stray looks at King and says, "My name has been many things. The humans like to call me Getoutofhere Shoo. They usually ignore me until I try to bury some freshly caught dinner in their flowerbeds for a snack later. Then they yell out their name for me, "Getoutofhere Shoo!" That ground around the flowers is too soft to not take advantage of! Guess your friend here has never stopped to smell the roses." Stray cocks his head over at Mr. Biggs. "But I prefer the name my old bud George gave me when I was just a young one and he took me under his paws, teaching me all his skills. He gave me the name Rambler"
"Where is he now?" King asked.
"Come ON King, no need to listen to any of his stories. Besides he smells and I think I might lose my Alpo."
"What's up with Mr. Biggs?" questioned Rambler.
"Oh he is OK really. He doesn't mean anything by it, he is just trying to keep his eye on me. The humans had him 14 or so dog years before me." King stated.
"Well he needs to go mark his territory or something. Take a load off!" Rambler snorted.
"Say did I tell you about the hot little number about 3 blocks over? She is a woofer! I would love to smell her butt and get to know her a little better! Va Va Va Voom!"
Kings ears perked up, "OH! Tell me more."
Mr. Biggs said, "COME ON King."
Rambler laughed a small chortle. "Look, you gotta go. I'll drop back by the next time I am in the neighborhood and see if you two are out. I don't know how you do it all pinned up like you are, not enjoying nature."
"Well this is all we know," King said, "But we love it!"
Mr. Biggs jumped in, "Our lives are good. What's your point? Why are you filling Kings head full of crazy notions? We eat well, have a clean yard and a warm human container they share with us!"
"I have no point," Rambler said, "just feel sorry for you guys man, your missing life! The freedom to roam, eat as you please, stalk and scare a few things, meet a few babes."
Human voices.
"That's us Mr. Biggs." King said turning back to Rambler. "It was great talking to you! Come back when you can. If Mr. Biggs stays ruffled up about you I will try to sneak out and visit! Bye!"

SEE!

Size DOES matter!

I recently had stumbled onto a web site called the Friday Five. Each week they would post 5 questions to answer. OK! I thought, this will be fun! But alas, Friday the 2nd they hadn't posted. Well things being what they may, and last Friday being good Friday, I forgot to look. I went there today and low and behold, they posted! Damn it! I hate being late! (insert large sigh here). So a couple of days late and always a dollar short, here are last Fridays Five and my answers:


1. What do you do for a living? I work in the wonderful world of accounting for a Broadband company. no names mentioned but the webpage is here: www dot mastec dot com.


2. What do you like most about your job? Working with some people.


3. What do you like least about your job? Working with those other people.


4. When you have a bad day at work it's usually because _____... of dumb ass people.


5. What other career(s) are you interested in? All forms of art, psychiatry (lol), world conquerer or controller of Bill Gates Money!


How about you?

Tuesday Challenges


Besides it is right after Monday, still not close to the weekend, I get challenged with this today. I sucked! Try your luck and leave your score on my comments. I got 28 on my first try. It is amazing what we forget! I will master this!


Could You Pass The Third Grade?


I have to go write a mean e-mail now to my friend D in NY for giving me such a personal lift to this fine day!


Listening to my headeache grow!

Monday Monday Part Deaux


I had a great weekend this past weekend. A number of personal things that I don't care to meantion here yet, some others that I do care to talk about.


I got linked! I am truly honored anytime anyone deams my ramblings worthy. I emailed this person and they seem quite the person I would like to know! Check them out!
I also got my first "out of the US" pin on my map! Iyanga from Germany! BIG THANKS to Iyanga for pinning me and the language lesson :-)!
Quick hint here, If you haven't pinned my map yet, why haven't you? It is quick, painless and a lot better than going to the dentist! Go now and pin me before I call up all my women's intuition and send the vibes your way!!!


Listening to No Doubt

And Then Comes Monday


Yuck. It is Monday again! I want to know who stole my weekend! Why is it they are so short? It is overcast and raining here, I would rather be in bed with a good, book or movie. But the tax man calleth! I did get a couple if stories almost completed and will post them soon for your amusement!
Now a recently composed bit of prose for the heart:


I love you for you,
for who you are,
you opening your heart,
is helping me open mine.


I feel good with you,
you feel good next to me,
You make me feel good,
about me.


I love you for your ability
to make me smile, laugh.
Your smile and laughter,
is warming to my soul.


We still have a lot to learn
about each other,
with each other,
I look forward to that.


I can't explain it,
don't think I have to.
It's like I have known you
a thousand years.


We have the excitement
of a freshly wrapped package
waiting to be opened,
with all the anticipation.


I Love You


Listening to the Blackeyed Peas

Working for the Weekend


Since it is Friday, a holiday week and everyone I am sure has other things on their minds, I spent my blog time creating drop down menus for my link catagories. Next figure out a search bar, change my header picture and I will be cooking with gas!(southern expression).


Hope everyone has a great Easter Weekend!]


I am gonna go find that cat Chi-ling.



listening to Train.

Here Comes Peter Cottontail, Hopping Down the Bunny Trail


Ahhh Springtime, Easter, pretty pastel colors and the Easter Bunny leaving eggs for easter egg hunts for the kids. The Easter Bunny?? And it leaves eggs??? What gives with that? I thought the holiday was a celebration of Christ's resurrection! How did a bunny get associated with that? Where did that darn Easter Bunny come from?! You can check out Cult of Jef for his slant on Easter or I did a little online research being the nosey person I am and found this article:


Easter is the holiest day for Christians, the day celebrating Christ's resurrection on the third day after Good Friday. This time of year is also associated with Passover, the holy Jewish holiday. So why a bunny?


Since ancient times, rabbits have been symbols of Easter, partly due to pagan traditions, partly due to religious symbolism. According to most encyclopedias, a rabbit, in the Christian tradition, symbolizes an innocent, vulnerable creature (much like a lamb), easily taken in by his enemies, and whose only real defense is to run or be saved by his master. Christians say the rabbit may represent man being saved by Christ, or Christ himself, allowing himself to be "taken" as a lamb to the slaughter. The egg, a symbol too, represents the rebirth, as Christ rose on the third day. Even literature gets into the act. The Great Gatsby uses "West Egg" Long Island, New York (not a real town) to represent hope for new life, however fleeting, in F. Scott Fitzgerald's popular novel.


Pagans, on the other hand, have a different explanation of Easter. The pagans worshipped the Anglo-Saxon goddess of fertility: Eostre. Her symbol was the rabbit, and this symbol has reached across many cultures, standing the test of time. The pagans further celebrated spring by painting eggs in spring-like colors. But the Christian missionaries were not about to destroy this pagan tradition and alienate the "lost souls." Christian missionaries were said to celebrate this festival as well, skillfully using the comradeship to minister to them, trying to convert them.


A German lady friend of mine who now lives in Vienna said she remembers being taught that in the 1700s the Germans brought the symbol of the rabbit to America. She is aware of stories of how the German people started to make nests for the Easter bunny the night before. Nowhere, however, can we find why tradition has this Easter Bunny bringing the delicious baskets of chocolate, gifts most of us so anxiously looked forward to as children.


So now we know, at least part of it. I myself am hung up on the chocolate!
Here is a fun place to go for Easter facts-n-funstuff


Listening to 2004 Grammy Winners CD

Poetry in Motion


Another thing I was inspired to write over the past weekend is a love Poem. I am not good at it, here is my first attempt.


Ode to Joe


Early in the mornings
I love my cup o' joe.
Afternoons and evenings,
A Cuban Cortidito.


Carmel Macchiato
Or a Cafe' au lait,
In a hill of coffee beans
Would I love to play.


Give it to me Mocha
On ice or frozen,
With whip cream topping
And the sprinkles I've chosen.


Expresso, Cappaccino
Or a Colada,
With 2 equals and creamer
Yumm! Why I outta,


Go to Starbucks or Caribou
Order Italian or Arabian,
Maybe African, Irish
Cuban or Columbian.


So now I close
I have to go,
Indulge in a cup
Of good ol' joe.


Listening to Hilary Duff.....

It's Raining Men!
well not exactly


Want to know about Moi'?
Then lets check out my desk. I have 2 fox statues, stackable men, artificial flowers, an in box with assorted current projects in it, a pack of vitamins, post it notes of various colors, an external CD Drive hooked up to my laptop, my water glass, my coffee mug, everest gum, phone call pad, 2 folders of issues, my cell phone, a paper clip, and the Essential Desk Reference set, and of course my laptop.


Yes I said I have stackable men. LOL! Here is the story:


My sister and I where shopping in Florida, at a quaint little town of antique shops. I like to pick some little something up to represent everywhere that I visit but don't live. We had been in many stores and found nothing. Now to get the humor in this, you have to know me and my sister. She was the first to find her purchase. A small china cow creamer. We laughed and laughed about "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free!"
My sister bought the cow.
I came across wooden stackable men. We had a good laugh at this one. We laughed and laughed again. What better way to have a man! 6 men in one! They are always dressed nice and don't talk back! How else would you want them?
The cashier just couldn't understand what was so funny. We tried explaining both stories to her. She just didn't get it. But are we suprised she didn't? It takes a special breed to understand my sisters and my humor! (Right 1F?) Anyway turns out they are the wooden Russian dolls. I forget the name, I am sure my sister remembers. Turns out they are Russian Leaders starting with Gorby.
Next time we will explore the drawer I affectionately call Marti-Mart.


Listening to Joss Stone....

I Am Now Dr. Doolittle!
I met an interesting new friend this weekend, a Siamese cat. Her name has Chi-ling. How do I know? She told me so. Let me tell you about us meeting.


There I was on this past fine Saturday morning, minding my own business, having a morning cup o' joe on the back porch. Enjoying a little quiet time if you will, a time when nature is at it's finest. Across the yard is a vacant lot, not yet built on, and a little behind on someone mowing and trimming. The weeds are about 3 feet tall. I noticed something moving out of the corner of my eye and there she was, sneaking across her yard towards the vacant lot. I watched her, she was on a mission, sneaking up on something, I was not sure what. I saw her enter what must be a jungle to her and she disappeared.
In a bit she peeked out of the feline forest and saw me looking at her. She wandered over to where I was sitting.
"Hi! I my name is Chi-ling and I couldn't help but notice you staring at me. See anything that interested you?" She said with a slight laugh.
I looked at my coffee, then at her again, wondering if I had accidently grabbed the Baileys instead of the creamer.
"Yes I am talking to you!" She stated. "What is it with you humans? I had to quit talking to my human. She started walking around the house when I did talk to her with her hands on her ears going la la la la la la."
"I was just noticing you sneaking up on something," I answered with a bit of surprise, "And wondered what you where after."
"Oh, just an annoying lizard. He had been teasing me through the window all night. When my human let me out, pay back was hell buddy!" She said. "He just thought he was safe! He had the nerve to think he was going to disappear into the field! I showed him! I snuck up on him and gave him a good one two. I have him back here, do you want to see?" She started to turn and head back to the field.
"Oh my god no!" I replied, "That is GROSS!"
"Well I think my human will think so too, but I have to do something to get her going. I am going to take it back in my mouth then beg to be let in the house." She laughed as she spoke, "That should start her day well!"
"You where in that field quite a long time," I asked, "What else did you do in there or did it take you that long to beat the lizard?"
"It did not," She said quite indignantly, "I got him in the first few seconds he entered! There were quite a few things to capture my attention while I was in there. I saw the ant farm commune. I never quite get that whole action, all playing follow the leader, single file, one by one. What is the fun in that? I had to pretend I was looking for something I buried and throw a little dirt their way. When I sat the Lizard down, they started coming my way! I was like no way! I did all the hard work, you are NOT getting my lizard! Fend for yourselves!"
"I bet they appreciated that!" I said to Chi-ling. "What else did you see?"
"Well the Dung Beetle family was all up doing their business. Crappy existence if you ask me. What kind of thing to teach your kids, rolling excrement!" She said shaking her head. "Then I saw a snake. He was being rather lazy and sunning himself in a warm spot. The taste of snakes in my mouth disgusts me or I would have been bringing him back to my human," She laughed, "So I just teased him a bit and stalked him in circles, you know they have limited vision and he was rather mad that he had to keep moving his head to watch me. I tired of that rather quickly and I smelled an aroma that my human sometime partakes of, so I was following my nose. That is when I saw you staring at me. Don't you have anything better to do?"
"Well right at this moment no," I said.
"Obviously!. Well I am off to entertain my human," She said as she trotted off. She looked back over her shoulder and yelled, "Hey, by the way, get a life!" Then she started laughing. I could hear her laughing all the way back to the vacant lot. She was mumbling under her breath. I couldn't quite catch what she was saying, but I did hear the words stupid and humans. I watched her disappear into the tall weeds.
What a way to start my day. I don't dare tell anyone. Who would believe me?

Isn't it Ironic, Don't You Think


That I lived in Florida for 3 years and never layed out on the beach, or by the pool, or went to a tanning salon. I got a spray on tan once. I move to North Carolina and now I am a member of a tanning salon...


things that make you go hummmmm.


listening to Alanis Morissette, now that is ironic

TGIF!!!!


When you get a a chance check out teh link to Satan's Laudromat on the left. It is a photo blog from New York. Some of his pictures are really cool. But then we all know M loves New York!!!!


I want to change my blog template a little and need some advice and or direction. I want to do 2 things
1) Add a search window
2) add drop down menus to move my links to. I would like them under my Heading.


I could redo the whole thing but I really like where I have gotten it so far. If you have any nuggets of wisedom, shoot me an e mail at mddcfox at AOL dot com. Please give it a subject heading on the subject line so I don't think it is crap mail and flush it without reading it.


Very inspired by the morning sun this morning. Will try to put it into words later today.


Listening to Hoobustank

So It's April Fools Is it...

Me, myself and I have been trying to team up and think of something to do to my boss today. It is so weird having one that would think that kind of thing was funny. But we are brain dead, at least right now. Maybe we can think better after a second cup o' joe...


A few quotes for this day of fools:


One for the masses;
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
Mark Twain


One for the Media;
If a million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
Anatole France


One for Politicians;
You don't have to fool all the people all of the time, you just have to fool enough to get elected.
Gerald Barzan


One for the writers in all of us;
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Frank Lloyd Wright
*note - he is also one of my favorite architects...


Soooo...
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
Mark Twain


Listening to the Bob and Sheri show........AGAIN!!!