Wednesday, June 29, 2005
The Babies are Born!
We let a perfectly good Fuschia plant die because of Ms. Dovie. I went out to water the plant one day, which is over my head by the way. I held the water picture up, soaked the bird, scared the bird, the bird scared me, she flew off screaming, I jumped back screaming....I took the plant down after she flew off, (and my heart stopped racing) and low and behold there was a nest with 2 eggs. They were still translucent! So it has been about 3 weeks now and check out the babies! the second one is low in the now dead foliage under mom's head...
Aren't they cute though!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Friday, June 24, 2005
Friday's Funnies
Enterprising Young Ladies
Two prostitutes were riding around town
with a sign on top of their car which said:
"Two Prostitutes -- $50.00."
A policeman, seeing the sign,
stopped them and told them
they'd either have to remove the sign
or go to jail.
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying:
"JESUS SAVES."
One of the girls asked the officer,
"How come you don't stop them?!"
"Well, that's a little different,"
the officer smiled "Their sign pertains to religion."
So the two ladies of the night frowned
as they took their sign down and drove off.
The following day found the same police officer
in the area when he noticed the two ladies
driving around with a large sign on their car again.
Figuring he had an easy arrest,
he began to catch up with them
when he noticed the new sign which now read:
"Two Fallen Angels
Seeking Peter -- $50.00."
Two prostitutes were riding around town
with a sign on top of their car which said:
"Two Prostitutes -- $50.00."
A policeman, seeing the sign,
stopped them and told them
they'd either have to remove the sign
or go to jail.
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying:
"JESUS SAVES."
One of the girls asked the officer,
"How come you don't stop them?!"
"Well, that's a little different,"
the officer smiled "Their sign pertains to religion."
So the two ladies of the night frowned
as they took their sign down and drove off.
The following day found the same police officer
in the area when he noticed the two ladies
driving around with a large sign on their car again.
Figuring he had an easy arrest,
he began to catch up with them
when he noticed the new sign which now read:
"Two Fallen Angels
Seeking Peter -- $50.00."
Friday, June 17, 2005
Friday's Funnies
Yes it's time to pick on the Blondes again!
Three blondes were applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So ya'll want to be a cop, eh?" The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a file folder. Sitting back down, he opened it up and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars, etc."
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about 2 seconds. "Now," he said, "Did you notice any distinguishing features about the man?"
The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"
The detective grabbed the photo, shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face!"
"You're dismissed!" The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for 2 seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"
"Yes! He only has one ear!"
The detective put his head in his hand and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused, too!" The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but....He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying "All right. Did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"
The blonde said, "I did. This man wears contact lenses."
The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at this picture?"
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "DUH ! ! ! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses!"
Three blondes were applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So ya'll want to be a cop, eh?" The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a file folder. Sitting back down, he opened it up and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars, etc."
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about 2 seconds. "Now," he said, "Did you notice any distinguishing features about the man?"
The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"
The detective grabbed the photo, shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face!"
"You're dismissed!" The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for 2 seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"
"Yes! He only has one ear!"
The detective put his head in his hand and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused, too!" The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but....He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying "All right. Did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"
The blonde said, "I did. This man wears contact lenses."
The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at this picture?"
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "DUH ! ! ! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses!"
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Spam Poetry
One way to put your spam mail to work...re-write with it.
I would like to thank some obvious, all annoying spammers for today's selection.
Thank you......
They're Here!
Celebrate summer,
Your opinions are valued!
Try the New Blue Pill for Male Sexual Enhancement.
Don’t miss your final days to enter.
A full is moon rising,
Go Wild!
Aren't you inspired now!
Ha Ha!
I would like to thank some obvious, all annoying spammers for today's selection.
Thank you......
They're Here!
Celebrate summer,
Your opinions are valued!
Try the New Blue Pill for Male Sexual Enhancement.
Don’t miss your final days to enter.
A full is moon rising,
Go Wild!
Aren't you inspired now!
Ha Ha!
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Friday, June 10, 2005
Friday's Funnies
These are actual newspaper ads:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog
FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been out a
while..better be a reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby
GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie.
(AND THE BEST ONE)
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45
volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.
Have a great Friday!
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog
FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been out a
while..better be a reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby
GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie.
(AND THE BEST ONE)
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45
volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.
Have a great Friday!
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Mid week laugh
This was too cute I couldn't resist:
A Marine squad was marching north of Basra when they came upon an insurgent soldier badly injured and unconscious. Nearby, on the opposite side of the road, was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state.. The Marine was conscious and alert. As first aid was given to both men, the Marine was asked what had happened.
The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. Seeing each other we both took cover. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable low-life scumbag, and he yelled back that Teddy Kennedy is a rich, good-for-nothing fat drunk.
We were standing there shaking hands when a truck hit us."
A Marine squad was marching north of Basra when they came upon an insurgent soldier badly injured and unconscious. Nearby, on the opposite side of the road, was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state.. The Marine was conscious and alert. As first aid was given to both men, the Marine was asked what had happened.
The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. Seeing each other we both took cover. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable low-life scumbag, and he yelled back that Teddy Kennedy is a rich, good-for-nothing fat drunk.
We were standing there shaking hands when a truck hit us."
Monday, June 06, 2005
Friday, June 03, 2005
Friday's Funnies
Yes it has been a busy 2 weeks and I haven't blogged. I will get back inthe swing of things this next week. In the meantime, ENJOY!
Dave works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Dave tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Dave, you picked up a real bitch this time."
Dave works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Dave tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Dave, you picked up a real bitch this time."
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