Today is holloween and I am dressed most appropriately.
i am a witch. a spider witch. all i need is a scarlet b on my chest and i would be a bitch!
oh wait. i already am that.
i will post a pic of me later today.
one of us came as a disgruntled employee. i am keeping a wary eye out for the gun.
i know her. she has one. be afraid. be very afraid.
we have a nurse, a security officer (with handcuffs), a mousekateer, a kitty, another witch, a hippie(she is free with the love today), some vampires, a harley chick.
i am sure the kitty will get a lot of comments from the men in the office today. nuff said on that.
i am going to abscond with the handcuffs sometime today and deny it
today i ponder on life and all its glory.
life is short. have fun.
F*@# the rest of em.

Flying thru my head

mini pads for thongs. what the f%$&?
now i can have a wad of cotton up my ass along with the thong string?
thats got to be comfortable. yeah right.
I think i will buy a box and make art with them.
i will keep you posted on my creations.
and
how about a "pearl" thong.
I only want one if i have to take the stairs.
then we wouldn't need men.
that is a whole different subject.

are you feeling artsy fartsy (oops!!!)

Miami
gotta love it
i am here on work related things with 2 other co workers. last night after dinner with them two of us decided there where some things we needed to pick up and wanted to go in search of the local target. I have been there before, but it has been over a year. and let me say that i know just enough about Miami to be dangerous. to myself.
Well the waiter, who had just a smidgen of 'tude, says go down to the dolphin expressway and take bird road. that rang recollection bells in my head! so off we go. we get on the dolphin expwy and go right. we don't see is, we any sign of bird road, a bird, or even bird poop. damn bells. we hit the turnpike. ok, we are not in any hurry so we go south. we see nothing, no shopping, no strip malls, nothing. so we exit, pay our toll of 25 cents, bang a u-ee, pay a toll to get back on. I laugh, i should ask the toll person where target is, we laugh, we approach the booth, and it is a grumpy old man. I didn't ask. and right now i would like to shove those bells that went off in my head up that waiters ass. we go back up the turnpike, exit back onto the dolphin. things are really getting fishy now, no pun intended. so we think maybe if we go the other way on dolphin. nope. fuckin bells. i have now decided that the waiter was having a good laugh about now. damn that tip i left! so we get off bang a u-ee and go back. we decide to hit the mall, we had seen a sign a ways back, and surely there is a target or somesuch at that mall. we exit 27. guess what another toll! but we did find the mall. alas, no target, and the mall is closing in 45 minutes. and it is a huge neat mall. damn it all! well while my co worker goes shopping i go in search of the bathroom. shut up everyone. anyway, it is a friggin hike, i see the hall, i am like cool! i round the corner and damn. ever seen that trick where the hall keeps getting longer? well i met that hall last night. damn it all! on my way back to meet my co worker, i was sidetracked, by this really great gold shirt! It was yelling my name, "moron! moron!"
seriously, i had to have it. it was 35 dollars, but i really liked it. so i go to check out and miracle of miracles! it was on sale. even better! that helped pay for all the tolls! i have justified!
so to end up the fab evening we are having we decide to get a bottle of wine and go back to the room and drink., and read the newspaper. i will tell you why we did that in another blog. but it was sad sad sad. one and a half glasses and we were out. waa-laa it is today!
so what's going on in your world today?

I love blogging. Although I did not blog over the weekend. I was way tired. Hummmm think it is the stress from work?
i was hoping to transfer with this "rightsizing" we are currently under. looks like that isn't going to happen. i know everything happens for a reason but damn. guess i will have to continue looking for a new job. i need new surroundings.
i saw runaway jury this weekend. great movie go see it. i give if 2 thumbs up!
what is going on in your world? are you hiring? let me know and i will send you my resume!

Flying thru my head.

Why do they call it a blow job? you don't blow.
what about a "hummer"? you don't hum.

what is in your head?

Today's fun for all is Name the pic



Here is the story I see going along with this pic

Britney reduced to Gang Life
ap 2003

Much to the surprise of the upper east side Britney was caught accosting her most staunch supporter. She was overheard saying "Give me yo money bitch before I pop a cap in yo ass!"
Madonna simply pulled the "M" off her jeans and held it up to britney crying out "Die mofo die!" hitting her with her 1.5 mil of bling bling she wore in her last ad. The local police came to the rescue and issued a citation to Britney for an attack on the elderly. Madonna got off with no charges. The policemen said "she was real nice" as they walked off wiping their ears off.

aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

Good Morning All!
First I added a link to a pic of a friend of mine. On the left of this page under links. Check her out!
and i added a cool "bumper sticker" and gif to my web page..

now for the good stuff

SIMPLE SIMON
Met a Pieman going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon
"Pies, you dumbass!"

driving to work this morning i was thinking (yeah i know, scary) about the state of my work. looking at the fellow drivers i passed, wondering what their lives where like right now. are they having issues at work? what are they thinking. are they looking at me? (it was dark when i drove to work).
then on the radio i hear the most amazing thing. according to self magazine, my current hometown is rated number one for working women. whatever! i live here prove it!

Hey check out the weather girl! ( Left side, pan down a bit) Her clothes change according to the weather! AND, that site has guys also!

Things I never really wanted to know. After quite the conversation with my sister last night I decided that I did not need to know the following:

Your parents have sex….AND you walked in on them once.
My sister gives a good "hummer". Why did she insist on telling me?
Chickens pee thru their skin…

Why do such things have to enlighten us?

On the other hand talking about sex with friends is different! I love my friends but it just doesn’t have the same effect on my mind as family… ya know!!

Cologne and Such

What is it with some men and cologne? (I know women do it also).....But
A man passed me this weekend and I could not only taste his cologne as he walked by, but could still smell him 5 minutes later! I don't want to taste your cologne! EEWWWW

AND

A friend of mine is having trouble with her man. You should see my friend. She is tall, thin, attractive, funny....What gives???? I told her to buy a dildo! They are like pets, they don't talk back, don't hog the remote and love you unconditionally.

What is up with people!!!!

Contemplation
Word of the day.
We where told Friday that over two thirds of our office will be without a job by the end of the year. WOW. All due to the good Ol' Office Politics. They are offering to transfer some people with some bennies and there is talk of offering stay bonuses. But as a whole, most will be unemployed. Not that we haven't seen the writing on the wall. I have said this since the first of the year to "outside" friends and family. But when reality hits, it sucks. My job is included in the mix, although I was not asked to attend the "lay-off" meeting. I was told later they don't want to lose me and have plans for me. Maybe I am over-emotional now, but I find that a bit un-nerving. It is my future..But they can't tell me? What if their plans fall thru and I miss the "transfer boat"?
I had big plans for the weekend, now I want to do nothing.
I think of my co workers. What are they thinking? How will they react? What now? Some have a stable homelife, but that definitely is a small group. One a long term employee, just lost her husband last Christmas, and recently had a stroke. What is she thinking? She was crying Friday. What about another friend. This one is the sole source of income. Lives alone. How depressing can this weekend be? I know people loose their jobs all the time nowadays, but it doesn't always make it right, and it isn't always fair.
So here I sit this weekend, contemplating what to do. What is good for me? I can't afford to be unemployed.
The word contemplation is to close to the word constipation right now. My mind is constipated with all my thoughts.
What would you do?

Well I am new at this. I changed my template. I like it. But I am not good enough at it to figure out how to move it down below that stupid banner. I also can't sign up to "join & pay" to remove the stupid thing. Anyone have any tips for me?

OMG I wish I had a DOG!

And this guy is going to die because he is STUPID. Tell me he couldn't tell he was taking it out of his glove! The proof is in the pic! And then...more to add to my list of dumb things about Florida..."In Florida, Gov. Jeb Bush said an offer of asylum to Bartman might be a good idea, and an ocean front retreat in Pompano Beach offered him a free three-month stay if he needed to get out of Chicago." I took that off a sports dot com...What the ???

Woman Accousted...

OOPSIES!

My Family will understand!

Do statements made ever get your mind to wandering? I do. Like, "Less is more" or "Ignorance is bliss"? How about "Fight free radicals at night by puncturing a vitamin C capsule and adding it to your night cream."?
Well for me, Less is definitely not more. EEWWW! I live in God's waiting room, the last port o'call. I have been to the beach. I have seen the 60+ people. In thongs. With black socks AND sandals. With guts. Male and Female. (Refer here to my earlier statement. EEWWW!)
Now how about "Ignorance is Bliss". WHATEVER....I have met some damn ignorant people in my home life and especially in my work life and it sure isn't bliss. For me or them. For me, I just want to slap them up side of the head! Isn't that ignorant? (see what I mean?) For them, they THINK they are grand, the leader, being a good example.....WHAT! WAKE UP PEOPLE! Your making me ignorant!
And fighting free radicals with Vitamin C at night. What, by doing that I am going to become lean and taut in my sleep? Wake up in camouflage, black grease paint under my eyes? Ready to go to battle? Who are the free radicals anyway? Why do I want to fight them? What about the radicals that aren't free? What are they being radical about? Why do I care. AND free is always good! So why am I mad about that?
While watching Judging Amy last night, I heard one that sums it all up for me. Maxine is talking to her son Peter about her decision not to sell the diner. "Peter, everything is going to be fine. We have pie". Enough said.

OK...Let me clear one thing up....."I have a great family and that is about as far as I can go with that"....What I meant to say was, Everything else in my life SUCKS right now! But we all know how family is your support, soooooo, things could be worse!!!

Now

Today's word is "ferment" (and all forms thereof). Now let me tell you a story related to the word.
Last night my ex neighbors, current landlords came back for a few days from Tennessee where they recently moved. I actually hate that they are not my neighbors anymore. Yeah I know...that is weird. Anyway, I was talking to Sherrie and she goes come over and have a glass of wine with me. COOL, I am there! We started out with a little of Mr Rossi in a Cabernet. Her husband arrived and OH OH we had to break out a new bottle, well I should say box. This time a lovely light chardonnay. My opinion sways on wine in a box. It is just not natural, but then, as Mr. Food would say, "It's So Good!". Well I hate to drink all their wine so I go get my current fav, White Merlot. (If you haven't tried it you HAVE to!) We all share a glass of white merlot. OMG Ron turns the country music on. Now if you know me, you know I am SO burnt out on CM. But with the delightful blend of wines, it was rather wonderful last night! Now Ron is singing, with a rather nice voice. OH OH, the white merlot is gone! But that's OK. I have many wines. So know we bust open a bottle of regular Merlot. We tell war stories (bear in mind none of us have been in a war). Now we are down to mixing wine. A little box with a little merlot, a little Mr. Rossi with a little box..Did I reiterate this is Monday night? That they are retired and I work? AND no dinner was had by all? Well after walking back to my house, laughing my a** off (and thank god I didn't have to use a car or a street) I found my way to bed. Luckily it wasn't spinning. I think people could hear me while I was cracking up in bed at everything stupid. But it was a great, much needed fun night.
So what is your drink of choice?

OMG what time is it?
It's Marti time!!
Who is Marti?
Well I live in the land of Chad. Home to Rush Limbaugh. Where if you want drugs, just ask your housekeeper.
Home to other morons and infidels too. (no names mentioned Anita Bryant)
So let me say this, I am a transplanted Texan...I know OUCH (Home of George Bush). Can't win 'em all you know.
I have a great family and that is about as far as I can go with that.
Watch Will and Grace? Well I love Karen Walker and her alter ego. I want to be just like her when I grow up. Rich, bitchy, and witty with the tongue!
So what are you up to?

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